Stillness
by cyke93
Summary: AU Season 3-4. Nathan never gave Haley a second chance after she left him for the tour. When he realizes his mistake, is it too late for them to work things out?
1. Chapter 1

Stillness

Summary: AU Season 3-4. Nathan never gave Haley a second chance after she left him for the tour. He built a wall around his heart but with high school over, will those walls crumble?

I know I shouldn't start another story but this one isn't going to be that long. I'm in an angsty mood and this story has been running through my mind the past few days, begging me to finally write it. I hope that by posting this, my mind will clear up and help me update my other stories. I've been in a down mood ever since someone very close to me left to move half way across the country and this story reflects that. It's similar to some other stories I posted before but with some differences. Enjoy and please review.

. . . .

The party roared behind him but Nathan Scott choose to spend the moment by the nearby lake overlooking a small lake. He should go back, talk to his teammates and classmates he'd probably never see in a while, but he couldn't go back there just yet. He enjoyed the peaceful and calm effect the water was having on him. His mind drifted to the one person who always invaded his thoughts and sure enough she was standing right behind him.

"Peaceful huh?" Haley said, walking slowly towards him.

For early June, it was surprisingly cool on this North Carolina night. Nathan wore jeans and a long sleeve black shirt. He looked up and down and saw Haley with a pair of jeans, a simple top and a light jacket on. Her face still had the hint of make up from earlier in the day during graduation but her hair was pulled up in a bun. She looked stunning, not like she never looked anything else.

"Yeah.." He muttered while turning to face the water again.

"I've been here once.... Luke and I rode our bikes here when were younger. He tried to convince me that this old plantation was haunted." She said nervously, hoping to break the ice.

"Yeah.. I remember you told me." He said softly, his eyes still on the water.

She was surprised that he knew but she remembered she did mention this place to him in passing before, back when they were together, back when they were still husband and wife.

"I can't believe you remembered." She said softly.

"I remember more than you know." He answered plainly.

"Too bad you remember _everything_." She said sighed and walked closer to him. "Nathan.. I .." She tried to get the words out but he turned to face her and took a step back away from her, his hands up telling her not to go any further.

"Haley.. don't."

But she didn't care, she had to say it. "I love you." She looked up at him, her eyes glistening and Nathan fought the urge to wrap his arms around her and hold her tight. But he couldn't go back there, not now, maybe not ever.

"I know that's now what you want to hear." She added.

"You're right .. it's not.. please Haley, don't do this now.." Nathan shook his head.

"I know.. I just .. I just had to say it .. do.. do you?"

Nathan sighed. She looked so sad, so vulnerable, at the moment it was enough to make him weak.

"I do love you Haley.. I just.. I just can't forget." He wanted to make sure the lines were still drawn and he wasn't leading her on. The last thing he wanted was for her to cling onto some false hope about them.

"I know." She admitted defeat. "But .. can.. can you forgive?" She asked hesitantly and Nathan raised his eyebrows in curiosity.

"I know leaving for the tour hurt you .. it hurt me too."

"Haley, don't!" Nathan warned. She choose to leave not the other way around. Whatever ill feelings she had about the tour, she brought it upon herself not him, Nathan told himself.

"I know we can never be what we used to be.. I know that now .. but I just want to know if there was someway.. somehow .. you can forgive me what for what I did to you.. that's all I'm asking." Her voice was shaky.

Nathan studied her face, so sad and genuine. His heart was breaking all over again. Despite what others may think, he did not get a kick out of hurting Haley, although at first he did, but now, now he wasn't sure. The anger was still there, the hurtful and painful memories of the day she left him were still with him, but he can see how much she was hurting right now and that allowed him to falter, even for a moment.

"I think when I reach down deep enough.. I do.. I do forgive you Haley.. for everything… it's just.."

"Just.. you can't forget.. I know." She nodded her head and took a deep breath. She knew the next part would be the hardest to say but she didn't have it in her to tell him, at least not to his face. So instead she copped out and took the easy way out. She did get what she wanted from all this, his forgiveness. She knew she lost her right for his love a long time ago but at least now maybe she can put back the pieces in her life and finally move on.

"Thank you, Nathan.. I know that wasn't easy for you."

"You're welcome." Nathan was unsure of what to say or do next. He stood to the ground fixed as she moved closer to him. The moon caught her face and she looked so serene, angelic. He was transfixed by her beauty that he couldn't move.

She tiptoed up to his face and gently kissed his cheek.

"Bye." She said so softly that Nathan almost thought that he imagined it. He closed his eyes as he smelled her fragrance and felt his cheek tingle with her touch. When he opened his eyes, she was already walking away and for the life of him, he just stood there watching her go, while everything inside him was telling him to run after her.

. . . .

"Are you okay?" Lucas went up to Haley. He noticed her walking back from the lake and knew that Nathan was there.

She shook her head. "No.. but I will be."

"I'm sorry." He said genuinely. "How.. how did he take it?"

"I didn't tell him."

"Haley.."

"I couldn't Luke.. it would just make everything … _real_."

"I'm sorry Hales, but it's already real." Lucas reluctantly told her.

"I know." She nodded her head. "I still couldn't go through with it." She choked and Lucas pulled her in for a hug. She sniffled a little bit and pulled back, trying to regain her emotions. She couldn't do this now, not with everyone here.

"I think I'm going to take off now." She said, straightening herself out.

"Already? Hales, stay.. please."

"I can't .. I just can't.. you know I'm not good at goodbyes."

"Neither am I." He replied. She gave him a hug and leaned into his ear.

"Thank you for everything."

"Anytime." Lucas smiled.

. . . . .

Nathan didn't know how long he stood out there by the lake but by the time he got back, he noticed Haley was gone. There were so many things running through his mind. He loved her, she loved him, why could it be as simple as that but with them it was never simple.

He was mad at her, mad at himself. He wondered how it got complicated, wondered if he never asked her to marry him, would still be together now. He thought he had at all with Haley, but Haley had other plans, other dreams that still needed fulfilling and unfortunately for him, it didn't include _him_. He built up a stone wall around his heart and time has started to show it's cracks. It was ironic, they spent more time apart than they were actually together.

The party was winding down and it was late, or early depending on your point of view. Somehow Nathan made it back to the lake and looked out as the sun's rays were making it's presence known. He remembered back when he was a kid he used to have a paper route and every right around dawn, he would just stop and breath it all in. He could almost feel the magic in the world. He closed his eyes, trying to regain the same stillness and wonderment but all he saw was Haley. He opened his eyes saw the suns rays cast itself over the water and images of him and Haley raced through his mind, of her tutoring him at the docks, or her cheering him on at basketball or their walks in the park, of her telling him to change the channel and now watch basketball. He knew now that stillness he longed for could only be found with her and he wondered for a moment if he could just open his heart and take things slow, he may be able to get the peaceful stillness back.

Walking over to his car, he had an extra step in his walk. High school was over now and it was time to face the real world and face the problems he had with his wife. Luckily, college was months away and maybe then they could work out their problems. He got in his car and drove back home. He suddenly felt ten times better.

He turned the corner to his house and noticed an RV pull away and drive off. There weren't too many RV's that passed by Tree Hill and the only ones he knew who owned one were his in-laws. A funny feeling came over him and he couldn't shake it off. He parked in the driveway and walked to the back door that led into the kitchen. When he reached the door though, a plain manila envelope was perked up against the door.

"Nathan" It simply read and he could already tell it was from Haley from the handwriting. A feeling of dread suddenly came over him and he pulled the top paper out and noticed it was a letter.

_Dear Nathan,_

_There are so many things I want to say to you but I know it wouldn't change anything. I'm sorry that I couldn't tell you this in person but it would've been too much for me and at this point, I'm already hanging on by a thread. Leaving you for the tour was the hardest thing I ever had to do.. until now. This is goodbye Nathan, you and I both know it's time. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you in person but I couldn't bear to tell you in person. I tried tonight but the words wouldn't come out. By the time you read this, I'll most likely be on the road, where I'll spend most of my summer with my parents visiting family before I start school in the fall. A part of me wonders if you'll be happy or sad when you see this. I'm hoping for the latter but I want you to know that I'm not angry or bitter about everything. I know I hurt you in the worst possible way. I held onto this fantasy that we would get back together but as time went on, I realized how far the fantasy was from reality. I know you could never love me like you used to but I couldn't leave knowing you were still mad at me. Thank you for your forgiveness, it was what gave me the strength to finally take the last step and move on with my life. _

_I want you to know that marrying you was the best thing that ever happened to me and no tour or record deal could ever amount to the love I felt and still feel for you. Enclosed is my last gift to you, I've been holding off on signing it for a year now but I know now it's time. Be happy Nathan, you deserve it. _

_All my love,_

_Haley _

Nathan blinked his eyes a few times wondering if what he was reading was for real. His hands trembled as he reached into the manila envelope and pulled out the next piece of papers, _Annulment Papers_.

Not wasting a single second, he jumped back into his car and drove to his old apartment, one where Brooke and Haley had been living in this past school year. As quickly as he could, he ran up the stairs and made a bee line for the door. He pounded on it several times but there was no answer. He twisted the knob hard a few times and then shoved his body against the door. The door quickly opened and he nearly fell down. He was glad that the deadbolt lock wasn't locked or else he would've tore the door down.

He marched to the back and noticed Brooke's bed and an empty cot nearby with the linens neatly folded on top of it. He opened the closet and noticed half of it was empty. He marched into the bathroom and noticed the same thing in the medicine cabinet.

_NO NO!!_ He told himself as he rushed out and went to the only person he'd know who would have answers.

. . . .

He didn't know how many traffic laws he broke but he didn't care. He knocked at the red door and a few moments later, a very groggy and annoyed looking Lucas opened the door, clad in PJ bottoms and a gray t-shirt.

"Who is it?" Nathan heard Brooke growl from the bed.

"What do you want?" Lucas rubbed his eyes.

"Where is she?" Nathan demanded.

"Who?"

"Don't play with me.. Haley.. where is she?!?"

"Now, you're looking for her?" Lucas scoffed.

Nathan immediately pinned Lucas against the wall. "I'm not playing with you.. I went to the apartment.. all her stuff is gone .. where is she?"

At this point, Brooke got up and shoved Nathan away from Lucas.

"She's gone, Nate." Brooke responded. "Wait, you went inside my apartment?"

Nathan looked down, "I sort of forced myself in."

"That's just freaking great, Nathan!" Brooke rushed to the dresser and grabbed her bag. "Luke, tell him what he wants to know.. I got to make sure my place didn't get robbed." She glared at Nathan before taking off.

After a moment of awkward silence, Nathan finally spoke.

"She.. she left me this." Nathan held up the envelope. Lucas took it and leafed through the contents.

"I know." He said shoving it back to him. "I was the one who told her to sign it."

"You? You did?" Nathan couldn't believe it. Lucas had given him nothing but hell this past year about Haley, to give her another chance and now he gave her the pen to sign their annulment papers. "Why the hell would you do that?" Nathan's voice rose.

Lucas laughed. "Are you kidding me right now?"

"I thought you wanted me and Haley back together?"

"I did.. until I realized that you were still the jackass I always knew you were .. she tried so much with you .. but every day this past year was the same old story." Lucas shook his head as he continued. "You broke her Nathan, there were nights where I would just hold her and she would cry over your sorry ass while you did nothing but ignore her and blow her off. Enough was enough and the only way for Haley to get better was to finally put you behind her and so after a while she finally listened to me and signed the damn papers."

Nathan stayed quiet as images of Haley breaking down wracked his mind, the guilt was nearly suffocating him.

"Believe it or not.. I did it for you too." Lucas added.

"For me?" Nathan choked out.

"You've been a bigger ass than before especially to me .. but despite that I knew how much this was hurting you too .. all I ever wanted was for her to be happy.. and you too.. and the only way I knew that could happen is if things finally ended between you two so hopefully both of you could move on."

"Luke .. I .." Nathan tried to speak.

"No! Don't you dare!" Lucas pointed at him. "Don't you dare have second thoughts about this now after she spent months trying to get your sorry ass back.. she's finally moving on Nathan with out you!"

"I need to find her.."

"Look, if you're looking for Haley, I'm no help to you.. I stood by last year while you two dated .. despite my better judgment I let Haley do what she wanted and I let it go .. I'm not going to make the same mistake twice. She's gone and she's never coming back.. it's what you wanted right? So just let it go.. she finally did!" Lucas said slamming the door in front of Nathan's face. Lucas knew he was being harsh but he didn't care. The amount of pain he caused Haley outweighed any sympathy he felt for him.

Nathan took a step back suddenly the weight of everything dropped on him like a ton of bricks. There were times he wished he never met her, cursed her name but he never thought it would come to this. He thought he closed his heart to her but the thought of her completely out of his life was too much to take. He sat on the steps and clutched his chest. The tears were stinging his eyes and he felt like he couldn't breath.

_Oh God, what have I done?_

To Be Continued


	2. Chapter 2

Stillness

Chapter 2

Thank you guys so much for the feedback. This story is similar to my other one the Mourning After but with less drama, just really focused on Nathan and Haley, and to some extent Lucas as you'll see here. The mood for this story is pretty dark as this best sums of my mood of late. I also want you guys to know that I'm nearly done with the next chapter of Behind the Scenes and I hope to post that soon. I really liked this chapter and the dialogue that takes place, I hope you do as well. I also want to let you guys know that I have a companion piece for "Principal's office" coming up, so if you hadn't had a chance, please check that out.

So I know this chapter is short, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. Please review!

. . . .

Lucas took a shot but missed. The ball bounced off the rim and gently rolled onto the grass in the River Court. The ball stopped under the foot of none other than his brother, or someone he once considered his brother.

"What do you.." Lucas was in the middle of asking but Nathan was blunt and straight to the point.

"I can't find her."

"Good." He shrugged as he bent down and took back his ball.

"I'm serious Luke, where the hell is she?" It had been a week since graduation and Nathan was as miserable and lonely as ever. He tried his best to find her but to no avail. He figured the only two people who would know were Brooke and Lucas, but Brooke left to visit her parents in LA. Plus there was the fact he broke down her door and she was still pissed at him. Peyton on the other hand was just as a bitch to Haley this year and she wouldn't know where she was either. So now, he's back to square one with the only person he hoped would tell him where his wife was or else he was going to beat the living crap out of him to find out.

"If you can't find her, then you can't hurt her.. so ask me again why I would want to tell you where she is?" He replied coolly as he continued to shoot around. Lucas took the ball in his hands and went up for a lay up. Nathan came in quickly behind him and dragged him against the pole.

"This isn't a fucking game, Lucas, where the hell is she?"

"What? You're going to beat the information out of me, go ahead, I want to see you try!" Lucas egged him on.

"Lucas, I'm not playing!" Nathan warned. Lucas pushed Nathan off him.

"I'm not either, Nathan!" Lucas roared back. "You're poison.. poison to me.. poison to her, so just let it go!"

Lucas shook his head as his own anger started coming to the surface. "You don't get it, do you?"

"I know I hurt her, but I need to find her."

"So what exactly can happen? You're going to talk, kiss, make up and pretend like the last year didn't happen. She finally moved on with her life Nathan after putting on hold for months, don't take that away from her." He pleaded with him.

"I'm not!" He said frustrated. "I just.."

"What!?"

"I just want to talk to her."

"Then send her a letter." He huffed out, as he picked up the basketball.

"If I knew where to send it to then maybe I would." Nathan growled.

"If you asked me this a year ago, I would've gladly help you out.. shoot I'd even drive you to her myself.. but now, now there's no way I'm going to help you."

"She loves me Luke! You and I both know that and how would she feel if she knew you were trying to keep me away from her."

"I'll be damn if I tell you where she is but she's a big girl and she can handle herself. If you find her then so be it, at least I know it wasn't on my watch. I sat back and let you hurt her time and time again, I did nothing back then… and now I won't let you get the chance."

"She'll never forgive you if you knew what you did."

"What if I told her she knows?"

"What?"

"What if I told her that you talked to me?"

"What.. what did she say?"

"She didn't want to hear it. Like I said, Nate, she's moving on. Come on, we both know you already did anyways, so why bring up the past?"

"It's not over Luke!" Nathan said frustrated.

"She signed the papers, Nate.. just send them to your lawyer already.. it is done."

"No.. I signed those papers last year.. I .."

"You what?"

"I don't know.. but I love her Luke and I know our marriage sucks but an annulment.. it's not like we never even existed and despite our problems, I don't ever want to just brush it aside like it never happened."

"Then, I'll send her divorce papers." Lucas shrugged.

"Why are you like this?" Nathan couldn't help but ask. He'd never seen him like this before. He wasn't used to seeing Lucas like this, had he been that bad?

"Are you kidding me?" Lucas laughed. "Are you seriously asking me that?" He laughed harder.

"I tried to help you out but what did you say, you told me to mind my own business and I seem to recall you saying that this brother crap was over between us .. you treated me like shit Nathan.. when I first joined the team you made my life a fucking nightmare and then you had to fucking date Haley on top of it.. but I still gave you the benefit of the doubt and I even became your biggest fan once I saw how happy she was.. how happy both of you were .. I know Haley made her mistake and so did you .. you didn't just abandon Haley, you abandoned me too." Lucas finally admitted.

"Luke.. I .."

"Remember when you took me to Charlotte, to get tested." Lucas cut him off and Nathan nodded.

"I thought wow, Nathan actually did something nice for .,. like this was big.. he really had my back.. we were really brothers.." Lucas laughed bitterly. "Growing up, I always felt like something was missing because of Dan and I guess I latched onto you cuz it seemed like you filled it in.. that I had a brother .. a friend who would always be there .. but it was a lie.. all of it .."

Lucas shook his head, as he remembered how Nathan had been so quick to dismiss him like he was anyone else. "You know something Nate.. I have it okay.. I have HCM."

Nathan stood there stunned.

"I shouldn't have played this year but it was my senior year.. I wanted to .. I needed too.. I didn't tell anyone and Haley only found out because she caught me with my pills." Lucas looked down. "And where was my brother then? The one who told me that he would love and protect my best friend with all his heart."

"Luke.. I'm.. I'm sorry." Nathan said, his voice shakey, not believing what he had just heard. "Believe me, no one is more sorry than I am."

"Why? So I can have your pity, please."

"Luke I know I screwed things up with us too.. I know that.. but."

"But nothing Nate!" Lucas yelled. "You know what," he said in a more calm manner, " prove to me that you actually do have a heart and maybe.. just maybe I'll help you out." Lucas said with finality as he walked away from him.

. . . .

KNOCK KNOCK

"Coming!" She called out as she made her way to the door.

She opened it and was surprised to find a certain tall dark hair blue eyed man in front of her.

"Nathan?" She asked.

He took a minute to look at her, her long blond hair and her brown eyes. She looked so much like her sister but yet so different.

"Taylor." Nathan greeted her. He didn't know why he hadn't bothered talking to Taylor. He tried to put her out of his mind ever since the last time he saw her. But after his last talk with Lucas and all this sibling stuff, it dawned on him to go talk to Taylor. Unfortunately, he lost Taylor's number but luckily still remembered where she lived. He was glad that she was still around and hadn't moved.

"What're you doing here?"

"I need to find your sister."

"I figured as much. Why don't you come in?"

"I'd rather not."

"Nate, I'm not going to bite." She grinned as she twirled her hair between her fingers.

Nathan gave her a nervous smile. "No, I'm good out here. I can't stay long anyways, I just really need to find Haley, so can you help me or not?"

"You sure you can't stay? It was a long drive from Tree Hill to here."

"Taylor, please." Nathan tried to be polite. The last thing he needed was to ruin his last chances of finding his wife.

"And it's getting late, you should _sleep_ over."

"Taylor." Nathan warned.

"Especially since my parents and Haley are coming tomorrow." Taylor added with a smirk.

"Wait what?!" His eyes went wide.

"Now, what do you say? Are you still going to leave?"

Nathan shook his head, no he was definitely not going anywhere. She turned around and he walked in behind her closing the door.

"I figured you'd come around here soon or later." Taylor commented.

"Oh, why is that?"

"Cuz, you're not the only one who's waiting to see Haley." Taylor turned the corner into the living room.

"What're you.." Nathan's voice trailed off as he saw Taylor's other guest. "Lucas.." Nathan said softly.

Lucas rose from the couch. "Oh, it's you. I guess you didn't need my help after all." Lucas turned to Taylor. "How did he know where you lived?"

"Oh he visited before." She replied nonchalantly.

"You did?" Lucas turned back to Nathan.

"Yeah.." Nathan cleared his throat.

"He was so mad, so upset over losing Haley .. he came to see me." Taylor then looked Nathan straight in the eye and he silently begged her not to say what he knew she was going to.

Taylor looked back to Lucas. "Like I said, he was so mad and upset over what Haley did to him.. you know the wholeChris thing.. "

"Taylor.." Nathan spoke up but Taylor ignored him.

"So he wanted to get even.. he wanted to sleep with me." She crossed her arms,

Lucas turned back to Nathan.

"Lucas .. look.." Nathan didn't have time to get another word in as Lucas' fist came barroling towards his face, sending him to the ground. Nathan didn't even fight it, he knew he deserved it. He was even was happy that it was Lucas currently throwing punches at him. Haley wasn't the only one he had betrayed and hurt along the way.

To Be Continued . . .


	3. Chapter 3

Stillness

Chapter 3

Thank you all for your reviews. Like I said before I don't know why I'm writing this but I'm in angsty mood. Poor Nathan is kind of in a low point, which is understandable, he is only coming out of his stubbornness to let Haley in and poor Lucas doesn't want to him to hurt Haley again. Let's not forget that Nathan not only shut Haley out but Lucas. And Taylor, thank God she is already a bitch, I can write her just the same lol. I recently updated Behind the Scenes, as well as put out two short one shots recently so check those out if you haven't already. I'm like 95 percent done with the next chapter of Behind the Scenes so I will update soon on that and I think tomorrow I will devote some time to writing the next chapter of The Mourning After. Personally, life is crazy right now but writing has helped keep me sane.

A personal thanks to Purplemud, I wasn't going to complete this chapter tonight but since she updated her story 23 recently, I thought I'd return the favor. Now I started to write this chapter and it just took off on it's own tangent, in the end I was pleased with it and I hope you are too. Enjoy and please review!

. . . . .

He watched her from the dark corner of the bar. She looked happy, carefree. A sharp pain ripped through his heart, it should be him next to her, laughing and smiling because of _him_, not _them_. Nathan didn't care if he was being _stalkerish_, he had to see her. He watched from a distance earlier when her and Lucas strolled through the park and when her and her family had lunch in the downtown district. He kept his word to Lucas about staying away, he just never specified how far he should be. But seeing her so close now, he had to go talk to her, no matter the consequences. Damn what he told, Lucas, it's not like he didn't hate him already, not that Nathan blamed him, he hated himself far more.

"Are you just going to lie there?!" Lucas screamed while Nathan lay on the floor.

"_I deserve it." Nathan mumbled, spitting out some blood and then getting up. The only good thing about this was that he was staining Taylor's carpet. Good luck getting her deposit back, the bitch deserved it. Nathan reluctantly got back up and offered himself back to Lucas._

"_Go ahead.. get it over with.. you can punch me until I'm black or blue it doesn't matter.. I know I fucked up.. I'm just trying to fix it."_

_Lucas clenched his fist and gritted his teeth. Every instinct in him told him to connect his fist back to Nathan's face, but he couldn't do it. It would've been so much easier if Nathan was fighting back but he wasn't, at least not physically. _

"_Damn it Nathan!" Lucas shook his head. "What do you want?" _

"_I told you.. I want to see Haley.. we went over this.. so either you keep punching me or let me be cuz I'm not leaving until I see her." _

"_You're only going to make things harder for her.. she's finally moving on.. why can't you let it go?"_

"_Because I love her." Nathan said honestly, but it elicited a chuckle from Taylor who seemed amused and standing at the corner. _

"_This is funny to you?" Nathan glared at her. _

"_You love her.. but you wanted to sleep with me.. that makes a lot of sense Nathan." Taylor said sarcastically._

"_Seriously Nathan.. I've taken a lot of your shit.. but to try to sleep with Taylor.. that's a new low even for you… I can't .. I can't even look at you!" Lucas shook his head in disgust. _

"_I didn't sleep with her!" Nathan threw back. "Yes, I had every intention of fucking her just to get back at Haley, but I didn't okay.. I stopped it .. but don't let this bitch fool you.. it's not like Taylor was doing anything to stop it.. she was practically begging for my dick before I finally came to my senses.. so yes Luke, get mad at me .. I deserve it.. I'm no saint but neither is Taylor."_

_Lucas turned to Taylor, "Is that true? Were you leading him on?"_

"_I was trying to see how far he was going to go .. I wasn't going to sleep with him Lucas.. Haley is my sister." _

"_And for that reason alone I thought you'd show some restraint and help your sister out, knowing full well the problems her and Nathan were having! I swear if you weren't a girl, you'd be dead by now." Lucas warned. _

"_Oh here we go, Saint Lucas! You act like I slept with him.. I didn't.. I'm not the one who came here and had the intention to sleep with me."_

"_Says the person who told me to come." Nathan added. _

"_You two.." Lucas pointed at each of them, "have no right to even breath the same air as Haley.." _

"_I know what we did was wrong, but don't act like Haley is innocent in all this."_

"_Dammit Nate! Don't you think I know that.. don't you think she does !! Hasn't she been punished enough?!"_

"_I'm not trying to punish her.. I just want to talk to her."_

"_So what you can tell her how much you love her. I'm not an idiot, I know you love her.. Haley knows you love her but it wasn't enough.. it nevert been enough ever since she came back to Tree Hill and now that she's gone what's the difference? What's going to miraculously happen once you talked to her?"_

"_I'm not trying to brush everything aside.. I've been so angry and hurt because of her.. I wasn't ready to hear her out."_

"_And you are now?" Lucas huffed. _

"_Yes." Nathan replied matter of fact. He didn't have time to beat around the bushes. "I'm not a fortune teller Luke, I don't know what's going to happen to us .. but I know if I don't do something then I'll regret it.. I already have."_

"_Ok you talk to her… so what then? What'll change.. you're still going to Duke and she's still going Arizona?" Lucas countered._

"_Arizona?"_

"_Oh that's right .. you didn't know since you were too busy ignoring her for the past few months.. she's going to attend ASU." _

"_What happened to Stanford?" _

"_Are you kidding me? She had every plans on following you to Duke .. after things didn't work out with you guys she didn't want to go to Stanford anymore.. it would be too much for her.. something I can thank you again for that.. so she opted for Arizona, something about it barely raining there that appealed to her." Lucas took his jab. _

"_I.." Nathan couldn't even speak, party because his jaw was throbbing thanks to Lucas. She talked about Stanford all the time when they were dating, she always wanted to go there. Nathan felt even more sick, it was just something else he took away from her._

"_Let's not forget what you did.. or rather what you wanted to do with Taylor.. how would you think she would take that.. knowing you came here to fuck her sister just to get back at her! You're going to break her heart all over again!" Lucas practically shouted. "Look, Nathan.." He sighed, "I know you could care less for me but please.." He begged, "if you love Haley as you claim, then let her be.. she doesn't need to go through anymore pain, I don't think she could take anymore." _

"_Lucas.."_

"_NO! She's already been through enough, I won't tell her about this but I swear.. come near her, you better be ready to face the consequences cuz if you don't tell her.. either of you." Lucas looked back between Nathan and Taylor, "Then I'll tell her.. so please help me God, you don't want that to happe.. so tell me you'll stay away from her." Lucas pleaded. _

_Nathan closed his eyes, knowing his brother right. He had hurt her enough and knowing what happened or rather didn't happen between him and Taylor would push her to the brink. _

_Reluctantly, he finally spoke up. "I'll.. I'll stay away." Nathan said defeated. _

That was then and this was now. The group of girls Haley were talking with, most likely other bartenders and friends of Taylor, were suddenly joined by a group of guys. He watched in pure anger and jealousy as each guy came up to her and said hi, flashing their bright smiles while blatantly checking her out. What the hell, he thought to himself. He had to put a stop to it, he was going to put a stop to it.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Nathan turned around to see who was talking to him and sure enough Taylor was with her hands on her hips.

"I thought you said yesterday that you were going to stay away from my Haley."

"Now you're trying to act like protective big sister, please." Nathan replied back.

"Nathan, stay away from her or else you want another black eye."

"Touch me and see what happens.. Lucas may not have it in him to hit a girl, but you don't even qualify in my book so don't even think about it." Nathan said with conviction.

"You.. you don't want her to find out what you did?" Taylor was taken aback by Nathan's words.

"What we did." Nathan corrected. "Look, Lucas was right, I'm not denying that but she also deserves to hear it from me.. to hear what I have to say."

"You're going to break her." Taylor warned.

"Or maybe, I can put her back together." Nathan turned around and started walking over to Haley.

Haley had her back leaning against the bar with a guy with too much cologne on in front of her. She smiled and answers his questions politely. This wasn't her scene but Taylor's friends were actually nice to hang around with. She wouldn't mind it just being girls' night out but some of their guy friends had shown up.

"A little close."

Haley and Andrew, the guy currently talking Haley, turned around.

"Nathan?" She couldn't believe who she was seeing.

"You know him?" Andrew asked.

"Yeah.. he's.."

"Her husband." Nathan answered for her.

"I don't see a ring." Andrew smirked, checking out Haley's hands.

"How about my fist?" Nathan grabbed the guys' shirt.

"Nathan!" Haley immediately cried out. Now everyone was looking at them.

"This guy wants to get beat up again!" Andrew laughed, noticing Nathan's black eye.

"Nathan.. stop it!" Haley demanded.

Nathan turned to look at her and then noticed all the people looking at him. He reluctantly removed his hands from Andrew's shirt.

"Thought so." Andrew replied.

Haley stepped in between them before things got any worse.

"Outside now!" Haley grabbed Nathan's arm.

"You're lucky!" Nathan answered back before being dragged away by Haley.

Haley spotted her sister and gave her that look that she was going to be okay. Moments later, they were outside.

"What the hell Nathan? What're you doing here?"

"I came to see you."

Haley sighed. Just when she thought things couldn't get even more confusing, Nathan comes waltzing back into her life.

"Nathan.. look."

"Haley.. please.. hear me out."

"Fine." Haley said, "But what the hell happened to your face?"

"Lucas."

"I figured as much." Haley rolled her eyes. "When I saw him earlier, his fist looked a little red."

"He told me to stay away from you."

Haley nodded. "He was just trying to protect me I suppose."

"It's good that he's that way.. someone has to be.."

"Nathan.." Haley held her hands up. "I'm not trying to be rude.. but .. what is this?" Haley said frustrated.

Nathan took a deep breath. "That night after graduation, I couldn't stop thinking about you.. I know I may have not shown it this past year but I've thought about you a lot."

"Don't.. don't do this Nathan." Haley's voice trembled.

Nathan decided to push forward. It was now or never, if he didn't get to talk to her now, he didn't know when he would be able to again and that was a risk he wasn't willing to take.

"I know I've hurt you and for that I'm sorry.. I was just so hurt and angry.. angry at you.. angry at myself… but when I saw your note.. it was as if something hit me .. as much as I tried to push you out of my life.. when it finally happened.. I .. I couldn't take it."

Tears started to form on Haley's eyes, as fresh wounds started to show themselves once more.

"Look, I know I put you through a lot .. you tried to make things work but I didn't want to hear it .. I know my timing is all fucked up .. but I want you to know that I'm ready.. I know we have problems .. I know we both made mistakes and mine wasn't trying hard enough.. so I'm here to try to correct that."

"Why.. why now?" Haley mumbled out, not believing what she was hearing. She'd been waiting for so long for Nathan to open up to her again, but she thought it was over and dealing with that was the hardest thing she ever had to go through. She didn't know if she could do it again. She wouldn't survive.

"Cuz these past few weeks without seeing you.. without knowing you were there.. well ..it just sucked." Nathan said plainly, honestly.

The simple-ness and honesty behind his words made her chuckle a little bit. They needed something to break the tension in the air.

"I'm not saying that it's going to be easy.. and that it won't be hard … or if we'll even be together later on but we have to at least try, right?" Nathan asked.

"I .. I don't know if I can." Haley replied honestly. "I don't know if I can go through all that again." Her voice choked.

"I know .. and it's my fault, but I'm going to tell you what you told me when I didn't want to hear it … that _I'm not going anywhere_."

Haley sniffled.

"So please don't make the same mistake I did by pushing me away."

"Nathan.. I don't .. I don't know what to say.. one minute I'm here and the next you are too.. I .. I need time." Haley blurted out. He knew he just dropped a ball, he didn't want to push her too far.

"Yeah.. of course.. Hales.. I know it's going to take time.." Nathan paused when he saw her expression change.

"What.. what is it?" Nathan asked.

Haley gave him a small smile and wiped the tears from her eyes. "You said _Hales_."

Nathan smiled back at her. She missed having Nathan call her that, it was only a nickname but it was so simple, so intimate.

"_Hales.._." Nathan walked closer to her. "I know you need time to take this all in.. I'm.. I'm not trying to rush things."

Haley nodded, "Thank.. thank you."

Nathan finally let out his breath. It was a small step, but at least one in the right direction.

"Why don't we meet up tomorrow, for brunch or something?" Nathan knew they needed a good talk, to get everything out there in the open and come clean.

"I'd .. I'd like.." Haley was interrupted.

"Haley!!" Taylor came running out.

Haley turned around to face her sister. It was then that Taylor noticed Haley's make up running and her red eyes.

"Haley.. I'm so sorry.. you have to know I wasn't going to do anything with Nathan."

"Wait, what?" Haley asked as Nathan's heart sank. _One step forward, a million steps back_.

"Taylor." Nathan gritted his teeth.

Haley looked between the two of them. "What.. what's going on?"

Taylor ran her hand through her hair. "You didn't tell her, did you.. great.. good job Nathan."

"Nathan, what the hell is she talking about?" Haley turned to Nathan.

"Look, before I say anything .. I was going to tell you.."

"People usually say that when they have things they don't want to tell.. so what is it?" Haley asked, her voice rising as fear and doubt starting plaguing her mind. She prayed to God, she was wrong.

"After I saw you.. on the tour last year.. when I left.. I got a call from Taylor .. I was passing near here so she told me to stop by on my way back home.."

"You were here before?" Haley asked.

Nathan nodded.

Haley's heart sank and her voice trembled. "What.. what happened?"

"Nothing!" Nathan quickly answered. "Nothing happened.. but I wanted something to though."

Haley felt slightly relieved but she was still unnerved. "What does that mean?"

"I umm.. I .." Nathan couldn't find his voice. He was scared shitless at this point. The guilt over wanting to do something was just as bad as if he actually went through with it.

"Haley…" Taylor spoke up. "He.. he came here to sleep with me, to get back at you."

Haley gasped and put her hand on her mouth. She turned back to Nathan and saw his guilt ridden face.

"Is .. is that true?" Haley didn't want to believe it.

Nathan couldn't look at her. He turned his head to the side. "Yes."

It was a second later that she felt him slap his face. He deserved that and so much more.

"I know that was wrong of me.. but you have to know nothing happened.. I stopped it before things could go further."

Haley felt like throwing up.

"What do you mean stopped it? Why did you have to stop it in the first place?" Haley grew angry and turned to her sister. She felt like Nathan wasn't the only one in the wrong here.

"I knew he was hurting Haley… I just wanted him to come by so he could have a good time, to get away from it all."

"Your idea of a good time usually involves getting tested the next day." Haley spat out. "What the hell happened between the two of you?!" Haley demanded.

"I was just so angry and hurt by everything.. I was so mad at you.. I wanted to get back at you.. I wanted you to feel as hurt as I was and so when I came here.. we had some drinks.. there was some flirting but that was it, I swear.. I stopped it because I knew it was wrong.. I couldn't do that to you.. or me."

Haley shook her head, she couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Haley, please.. nothing happened between us." Nathan added.

"I would've stopped it before it ever got that far." Taylor piped in.

"You should've stopped it before it even began!" She went up to Taylor.

"Haley."

"I can't believe I'm related to you." Haley slapped her as hard as she could.

"Haley-bop!"

"Don't!! Don't you dare… I had to put up with a lot of your crap over the years but no .. not this.. mom and dad buy it but I don't.. not anymore. .. I'm through with you." Haley turned around.

"Haley please." Taylor pleaded.

"Not another word or so help me God.. I never want to see you again." Haley turned around and started to walk away from the two people who had hurt her the most.

Nathan looked at Taylor and shook her head. He then went after Haley.

"Get away from me!" Haley huffed out.

Nathan walked in front her. "I know your mad and upset .. and have every right to be.. believe me .. everything you were thinking of doing to me, Lucas already took care of that."

"He knows?"

Nathan nodded and pointed to his black eye.

"You're wrong.. " Haley glared at him. "If Lucas really took care of things for me then you wouldn't be breathing now." Haley shook her head and continued to walk.

"Haley please.."

Haley stopped. "You came here being all big and macho and going all caveman on me because one guy who I didn't know.. one guy who I just met and had no intention on remotely sleeping with.. was talking to me.. but you.. YOU drove all the way here.. YOU went to see Taylor of all people .... to try to ... to purposely hurt me.. " Haley choked out, tears flowing down her face.

"You said you came down here to get back at me.. to get even… it didn't matter if nothing happened Nathan, your plan still worked flawlessly." Haley cried out and started to run away.

"Haley please.. come back here!" Nathan ran after here. "Please Haley.. I love you!!"

Haley stopped and turned to look at him. "I love you too.. or at least I thought I did.. maybe I loved the idea of you." Haley said softly, trying to regain some of her senses. "I thought I knew you.. I thought that behind the cocky arrogant son of a bitch there was actually a decent guy underneath it all.. I should've known better.. I should've never tried to change you.. I'm .. I'm sorry."

Nathan looked at her curiously. Why was she apologizing?

"When I married you, I knew the kind of guy you were .. you shouldn't have to be a different person because of me,.. you.. you have to be yourself, ntot someone else.. so Nathan.. I'm sorry .. I'm sorry for trying to make you into someone you weren't."

"What.. what're you saying?"

Tears flowed down her eyes. "I'm saying that I'm done trying." Haley turned away from him and flagged down a taxi cab coming down the street. She got in quickly and slammed the door on him before Nathan could get in.

"Haley!!" He called out after her. He ran after the cab but it was useless. By the time he found a cab of his own, he was out of breath and had no clue which direction she went. He ended up spending the night trying to find her but never did. When the morning sun rose, he wondered if they'd ever find each other again.

To Be Continued . . .


	4. Chapter 4

Stillness

Chapter 4

Thank you all for your reviews, I wasn't expecting so much. And I'm sorry for not updating sooner but this story is really angsty and to get myself back in the mind set is a little hard and I didn't want to write a chapter that wasn't "worthy" enough. I hope you understand. And just to recap, everything from season 2 basically happened but when senior year started, Nathan didn't give Haley the time of day like in the beginning of season 3. In terms of Tree Hill timeline, this would be end of season 4 since they graduated high school already. Now I know things are bleak right now, but hang tough. Thanks again for your reviews and please keep them coming. I'm almost nearly done with the next chapter of my other story, Behind the Scenes, so look out for it.

. . . . .

Lucas changed into his blue plaid PJ bottoms and put on a simple white t-shirt. He hopped onto bed and pulled out the latest book he was reading. Things had been so hectic lately, he was in dire need of a nice relaxing night alone, one that didn't involve the drama of his brother and best friend, cross that, his best friend and her soon to be annulled ex-husband. After his last encounter with Nathan, Lucas was done with him.

KNOCK KNOCK

A heavy pounding at his door distracted him from his comfortable read. As nice as it was to have his own personal exit, it did come at a price sometimes. The door banged again and Lucas sighed and got up and opened the door.

"LUCAS!!!" An over exuberant and obviously drunk Nathan greeted him.

_Great, _he thought to himself, a repeat of Keith's failed wedding.

"Nathan, what the hell?" Lucas asked annoyed. He surveyed his brother, in a pair of khaki shorts and a red polo, with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in his hands.

"How you doing buddy?" Nathan gave him a goofy smile and padded his shoulder.

"Nathan, go home, I'm not in the mood for this."

"Ok, I guess I'll go." Nathan chuckled and pulled out his car keys. Lucas looked on in shock and grabbed the keys from his hand.

"Please don't tell me you drove here." Lucas mumbled to himself and then peered out and noticed Nathan's SUV parked in front.

"Oh my God Nathan, I can't believe you drove here… tell me you didn't do anything stupid on your way here." Lucas was getting really worried. The last time he caught Nathan driving drunk, he had to personally repair Peyton's car.

"NO!! Silly." Nathan grinned and cupped Lucas' chin. "I'm not that stupid." Nathan brushed passed Lucas and letting himself inside. "I drove here an hour ago .. I wanted to talk to you .. but I couldn't .. so I started drinking to help me out .. guess what?" Nathan laughed. "It WORKED!! HAHA." Nathan stumbled inside and grabbed onto the bed for support.

Lucas felt slightly relieved, the last thing he needed was to find out that Nathan was involved in a hit and run in tomorrow's news.

Lucas grabbed the near empty bottle from Nathan's hand and placed it on his dresser. He grabbed his cell phone, "Look I'm going to call you a cab."

"OK-ay!" Nathan giggled as he wobbled once more. Nathan tried to stand up but he was shaky on his feet and the room was spinning wildly out of control.

"Luke.." Nathan said more softly as he was about to fall down. Lucas immediately went next to him to steady him. Nathan gagged and placed his hand over his mouth.

"Fuck, Nathan!" Lucas shook his head and dragged Nathan to his bathroom. The last thing he needed was for Nathan to yack all over his bed room. Lucas raised the toilet seat and situated Nathan in front of it. Within seconds, Nathan started heaving, emptying the contents of his stomach into the toilet.

"Luke.." Nathan tried to talk to him but it was no use as he kept throwing up. Lucas looked on, his anger and annoyance now replaced with something he knew he shouldn't be feeling, _pity_. It was times like these that Lucas wished he was cold hearted and a jerk. He would love nothing more than to grab Nathan's keys to make sure he wouldn't get in his car and kick him out to the curb and let him sleep on the bushes. Lord knows he deserved far worse but fortunately for Nathan, Lucas wasn't the cruel.

"Luke…" Nathan said softly as he looked up at Lucas. His blue eyes were now blood shot and watery, with beads of sweat trickling down his forehead. _So much for a quiet night in, _Lucas thought to himself. Lucas sighed and reached over and helped pull Nathan's shirt off him, the guy was burning up.

"Try to raise your hands." Lucas ordered as he pulled the sweat stained shirt over him. Lucas grabbed a face cloth and poured cold water over it and then placed it over Nathan's forehead and wiped the sweat from his back and torso, while Nathan still hunched over the toilet. Every so often he would throw up, but each time less came out, until the point that Nathan was just dry heaving.

Lucas ran into the kitchen and came back in with a bottle of water. Opening it up, he offered it to his brother.

"Drink it."

Nathan shook his head.

"You're dehydrated, trust me." Lucas ordered and Nathan took a gulp and Lucas wasn't satisfied until he finished the whole bottle. He then went to the medicine cabinet and pulled out a spare toothbrush. He unwrapped it from the package and placed a little bit of tooth paste on it. He took Nathan's arm and placed it over his shoulder and lifted him up.

"Come on, try and brush your teeth." Lucas walked him over to the sink. With shakey hands, Nathan did what he was told, while Lucas held him steady. It was clear that Nathan was going to crash here and he didn't need Nathan's breath stinking up the place. It was already bad enough the bathroom reeked.

After Nathan was done, Lucas tried to move him back to his bedroom, but Nathan's legs weren't moving.

"Come on Nate.. let's get you to bed." Lucas mumbled. Nathan tried to move his feet but it was no use, he ended up leaning against the tiled wall and slumping down and this time the tears falling from Nathan's eyes wouldn't stop.

"It's over." Nathan mumbled.

"What's over?" Lucas asked, even though he knew the answer.

"Me, Haley.. we're.. we're done. She'll never forgive me."

"Nathan.."

"She said she was sorry." Nathan almost laughed. "Here I am, the one who fucked up by trying to fuck Taylor and she's the one who says she's sorry… she said she was sorry for trying to change me.. God Luke.. how did everything go wrong.. what did I do?"

"…" Lucas remained quiet while Nathan rambled on.

"Luke, what did I do to make her leave me?"

"Do you really want the answer?" Lucas replied softly, not trying to insult his brother.

"NO!!" Nathan shook his head. "When she left for the tour.. what did I do? Why did she leave me?"

"She didn't leave you Nate.. she came back." Lucas answered carefully.

"I'm so stupid." Nathan cried even harder. "You were right about me.. I am poison .. she was so hurt Luke .."

Lucas shook his head, he told Nathan to stay away from Haley. He knew something like this would happen.

"I didn't want to hurt her.. we were going to have brunch the next day.. we were going to finally talk and come clean with everything.. then that bitch Taylor came in... I miss her.. I want her .. I love her so much .. it hurts Luke.. everything hurts!" He buried his head into his palms.

"It hurts.." He said softly as he started to drift in and out of consciousness.

"Come on." Lucas sighed as he picked Nathan back up and slowly guided him to his bed. He placed Nathan down and then reached over to his feet and kicked off Nathan's shoes. Then he reached for Nathan's belt. Nathan's shorts were wet, either from water or his throw up, either way, those weren't going to stay on him.

Nathan giggled when he felt Lucas tugging on his shorts, leaving Nathan with his boxers on.

"I knew you always wanted me." Nathan teased. "Sorry I'm taken!" Nathan raised his hand to show off his wedding band.

Lucas glared at his brother for a second while he tossed his shorts aside and placed it on top of his hamper.

"Nathan get some sleep." Lucas said as he placed his trash bin next to Nathan, in case he needed to throw up again and then he moved Nathan over to his side.

"I don't deserve your help." Nathan mumbled, his eyes becoming heavy.

"You're right about that."

"I know it doesn't mean anything to you .. but I'm sorry.. I'm sorry for everything.."

"Nate.. you're drunk, get some sleep."

"You were there for me when I wasn't for you.. I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.." A few tears escaped Nathan's eyes. Lucas' heart sank, Haley really did a number on him.

"Good night Nathan." Lucas walked over to the door way and turned off the lights. He was going to crash on the couch.

"Don't go.." Nathan pleaded. "I don't want to be alone.. I'm always alone." Nathan said softly.

Against his better judgment, Lucas closed the door and scooted on the bed next to his brother. It was probably better if he stayed near him. Who knows what Nathan would be capable of in his drunk stupor.

"I miss her.." Nathan said softly in the darkened room.

"I know." Lucas responded.

"I need her.. I love her." Nathan said once more.

Lucas sighed. "I know." He knew all too well.

. . . . .

Nathan woke up with the sun in his face, his body feeling absolutely drained. He had a small headache but nothing too bad. It was then he started to wonder where he was and for a moment he was totally confused. Why was he in Lucas' room half naked? He looked up and found Lucas standing by the bed, a small scowl on his face.

"You drink too much."

Nathan rubbed his forehead. "I think you're right."

"You also snore." Lucas threw back and Nathan snickered.

"How're you feeling?" Lucas asked.

Nathan rubbed his eyes as the night's events came rushing back to him. "I've been better.. thanks making me chug the water."

"So you remember what happened?"

"Unfortunately." Nathan mumbled.

Lucas nodded. "Look, your clothes are here." He gestured to the hamper. "And your keys are on top of my dresser."

"Thanks for taking care of me last night.. I know you didn't have to."

"No, I didn't."

"Why.. why did you? You could've threw me out." Nathan asked. Lord knows, he deserved it.

"Believe me I thought about it.. but I'm not that cruel.. I'm not you."

"I deserved that." Nathan sat up slowly, the room was still slightly spinning.

"You deserve a lot worse." Lucas shook his head and sat down on his computer seat. "What the hell is going on with you?"

Nathan chuckled. "I'm a mess."

"I can see that."

"I don't know what to do .. she hates me."

"I'm sure she doesn't hate you."

"Well, she never wants to see me again.. or Taylor.. not that I blame her."

"I told you this would happen."

"Yeah yeah.. _Lucas was right _again.. spare me .. I know."

Lucas took a deep breath. "Nathan, it's time to face it.. you guys are over.. you've been over for a while now. You need to move on. This isn't healthy .. I don't know if I'll be there the next time you drink yourself silly."

"I know.. I know… I just.. I don't know what to do now… after graduation I wanted to work things out between us.. I thought we would have the summer to spend together.. now.. now there's nothing." Nathan's head hang low. He got up and slowly made his way to the hamper and put his shorts back on.

"Tha.. thanks again." Nathan mumbled.

"Why did you come here Nathan? Are you looking for my sympathy or something?"

"I guess .. maybe.. look Luke, I know I messed up with Haley but I want you to know that I do love her and I know what a jack ass I've been.. you were right okay… about you too.. both of you didn't deserve what I put you through."

Lucas nodded, no arguments from him there.

Nathan put back his shirt on. "Look.. thanks again for taking care of me… I guess.. that's what big brothers are for right?" Nathan tried to joke.

"So we're brother's now?"

"We've always been brothers." Nathan said softly. "At least I want us to be.. look Luke, you're right I screwed up big time with Haley.. I lost her.. I don't.. I don't want to lose you too.. lord knows I need someone to help whip me back to shape."

Lucas scratched his head and glared at his brother. "Okay Nathan.. it's clear I can't get rid of you but please.. you need to take care of yourself."

"I will." Nathan nodded and walked over to get his keys. "Hey.. do you.. umm.. wanna shoot around later? At the river court."

"You know I don't play anymore."

"I know you have HCM Luke, but that doesn't mean you can't still shoot around?"

"I'll think about it."

Nathan nodded and headed out.

. . . . . .

Nathan walked over to the River Court and was surprised to see Lucas already there.

"Your shots suck." Nathan joked as he walked closer.

"Gee thanks." Lucas said sarcastically as he went for a jump shot but the ball bounced out of the hoop at the last second.

"If you stop squinting maybe you can see where you're aiming." Nathan joked.

Lucas glared at him, "I like how you're trying here." Lucas said sarcastically.

"I didn't think you'd be here."

"Yeah.. you and I both.. but you're right .. I still love the game.. even though I can't play it."

"Yeah.." Nathan nodded.

"Were you serious?"

"What?"

"Last night, about loving Haley and wanting her back."

"You know I am."

Lucas sighed to himself, he couldn't believe he was going to say this. But he lost basketball and knowing that he literally wouldn't be able to play professional ball again killed him. If there was something Lucas could do to get back into the game, he would do it, no questions asked. Instead, he is forced to live the rest of his life watching the game from a distance and settle for shooting around, not able to play seriously like he did before. He could only imagine what Nathan must be going through with Haley. But at least with Haley there was a chance for them to work things out, albeit a small one. He knew his brother loved Haley with all his heart. He came to accept Nathan for his faults, though numerous, Nathan still loved her and he doubt no one in this world would love Haley more than Nathan.

Lucas chuckled. "I can't believe I'm going to say this.. but if you were serious.. then you should do something about it."

"What?"

"Look.. I get it .. basketball was taken away from me and there's literally nothing I can do about it." Lucas tapped his heart. "But you can still do something about Haley.. if you really can't live with out her then you'll do something."

"I can't live with out her.. but I don't know what to do."

"If there was a way for me to fix my heart, there'd be nothing to stop me."

"You're right." Nathan nodded. "It's time I start fixing my own heart." Nathan grabbed the ball and took a shot. Nothing but net.

To Be Continued . . . .


	5. Chapter 5

Stillness

Chapter 5

Thank you so much for the reviews last chapter. The number of reviews went up and then down lol so I hope you guys are still interested. I really liked the last chapter because we got some Scott bonding and after everything Nathan did, he needed to pay his dues. Now, I also updated my other story Behind the Scenes so please check that out. Thanks. Enjoy and please review!

. . . . .

"There.. there.. it's okay, Haley." Brooke tried to sooth her friend. After what happened with Nathan and Taylor, Haley needed some time away from her parents and her ex-sister, yes she was calling her that now, and the first person she thought of was Brooke. With out any hesitation, Brooke insisted that Haley fly out to Los Angeles and spend sometime with her, even so much as going out of the way to pay for her flight there.

As soon as Haley arrived at Brooke's penthouse in Santa Monica, Haley flew into her arms and the tears started flowing and that hadn't stopped in the thirty minutes since Haley had arrived.

"I can't thank you enough." Haley sat up from the couch and wiped her eyes with a tissue Brooke handed to her.

"Hales, you don't have to thank me .. you're my friend and I'm here for you." Brooke happily replied. She didn't mind having Haley with her. It had only been a few weeks since she left Tree Hill but Brooke was already feeling a little homesick and missed her friends. "Now, are you ready to tell me what happened?"

Haley took a deep breath, her voice shaky. "God, I don't even know where to begin."

"The beginning would be good." Brooke teased, squeezing Haley's hand in a show of support. Haley nodded and proceeded to tell her about the details of the night of graduation. How she talked to Nathan and asked for his forgiveness and how she was ready to move on with her life without him. It was hard but Haley knew it had to be done. Brooke stayed quiet and somber, she knew first hand how hard it had been on Haley this past year. This wasn't the first time Haley cried over Nathan to Brooke. Brooke had also agreed that it was time for Haley to move on, there was no sense in holding onto something that wasn't going to happen. Brooke remembered that night, it was all so very bitter sweet.

Then Haley started telling her about her visit to Taylor, how Nathan showed up out of the blue and wanted to talk. Haley was so hopeful, that maybe there was something there, that was until Taylor showed up and flipped her world around.

"I could kill that bitch!" Brooke shook her head.

"You and I both." Haley tried to joke, though it wasn't far from the truth.

"I should've kicked Nathan's ass too." Brooke sighed. "I saw him the next morning after you left Tree Hill, I was with Lucas and Nathan came by looking for you… oh honey I can't even imagine what you're going through." Brooke pulled Haley in for a hug.

"I don't know what to do anymore.. I mean .. this whole time.. this whole time he ignored me, all the letters I wrote while he was at High Flyers and didn't hear a word back and everything this past school year, for him to do this and not say anything.. and now he wants to talk?!?"

"Haley, let me tell you that you do not owe that boy anything!" Brooke held Haley by the shoulders, hoping to instill in her some sense of strength. "Leaving for the tour was your mistake and you've more than apologized for it but Nathan.. oh my God, my blood is boiling just thinking about it."

"But what do I do now?" Haley asked, wiping her eyes.

"Nothing." Brooke replied with the utmost of ease. "Hales, look at me, you were ready to move on with you life .. now is your chance, this is your clean break.. pretty soon you'll be in Arizona and hopefully do something about this pale skin of yours." Brooke tried to lighten the mood.

"Brooke.."

"No Haley, look, you and I both know it was over a long time ago with you two, you've both been through so much and at least now the truth is out .. there's nothing left to say or do."

"But move on." Haley added.

"Yes." Brooke nodded. "I mean you even went above and beyond by even apologizing to him even after you found out about Taylor, you are a saint Haley James."

Haley inwardly flinched. She still wasn't used to be calling that, but then again she had no reason to use Scott anymore.

"You and Nathan finally hashed things out.. you guys got everything out in the open, now you can start a clean break, this is what you wanted."

"I didn't want this." Haley sighed. "I didn't want any of this.. I needed it." Haley took another deep breath. "I needed to move on because I knew what I was doing wasn't healthy.. I know what you're saying Brooke but it still doesn't make it any easier."

"No one said it would be." Brooke sadly replied. "I won't lie Hales, there'll be good days and bad days, today is a bad but in time, it'll all be good days.. you'll see." Brooke squeezed her hand once more.

Haley nodded, praying her friend was right. "Thanks Brooke, I really didn't know what I'd do with out you.. and Lucas."

"Right back at you." Brooke playfully punched her shoulder and then got up. "Now.." Brooke put on a radiant smile. "like I said you've been looking a little pale, so why don't you get your swim suit, we'll go to the pier, get some icecream and lay out in the sun and get some color into you."

That sounded nice and Haley smiled, the first time in what felt like forever.

"That sounds perfect."

. . . . .

"Thanks for calling me Brooke, I was getting worried."

"No worries, Luke she's safe and sound."

"Where is she now?"

"Taking a shower. We just got back to the beach, some down time is exactly what Hales needs right now."

Lucas nodded, switching the phone to his other ear. "Yeah, I agree."

"Did you know about this whole Taylor thing?" Brooke asked.

"Yeah, I was there when Haley got there, but I had to get back to Tree Hill because my mom needed me to help out in the café.. I knew something like this was going to happen."

"Well there's nothing more we can do.. but I think Haley's going to be okay, she's strong."

"I hope so.. tell Haley to call…"

"You're talking to Haley?" A voice called out behind Lucas and Lucas immediately put his hand over the mouthpiece.

"What're you doing here?" Lucas whipped his head around to find Nathan standing by his door way.

"Are you talking to Haley? Where is she? Let me talk to her?" Nathan called out.

"Is that asshole with you?" Brooke asked in disbelief.

"Sorry.." Lucas got back on the phone. "Look I got to go."

"Okay, I'll talk to you later, Bye Luke."

"Where is she?" Nathan asked before a Lucas even got a chance to put his phone away.

"Nathan.."

"Luke.. I'm fighting for my life here.. where is she?"

"…"

"Dammit Luke! I thought we went over this. I thought you had my back."

"I have Haley's back!" Lucas cried out. "And right now she's a mess, no thanks to you." Lucas regretted the words as soon as it came out.

Nathan instantly felt like he got punched in the gut.

"Look I'm not trying to put you down but just give her time."

"NO!" Nathan shook her head. "We wasted.. I wasted enough time… she's with Brooke isn't she?"

Lucas paused, not saying anything. "Nathan.." Lucas said in a warning tone.

"Look Luke, you're the one that told me to fight like hell and that's exactly what I'm going to do."

"I know that Nate.. but she's really hurting right now."

"And you and I both know I'm the only one that can make it stop."

"Don't get so cocky."

"It's the truth.. I love her and I was the biggest idiot in the world for not doing something sooner."

Lucas sighed. "Nate.. just please don't something stupid."

"No, not stupid." Nathan paused. "Just drastic." And with that he took off, not bothering to turn around to Lucas' cries for him to come back.

. . . . .

Dan walked inside the house and passed by Nathan's room. He stepped inside to see Nathan too busy packing for him to notice him.

"I didn't know pre-season practices at Duke started up already."

"They don't." Nathan replied curtly and continued to pack.

"Care to tell me where you're going?"

"Not really."

Dan walked over to the dresser and saw a print out for a flight itinerary.

"Why are you going to LA?"

"None of your business." Nathan snatched the papers away from him.

"You're going to see _her_ aren't you?" Dan said after a pause.

"By _her_, you mean my wife then yes."

"She isn't your wife. I thought she signed the papers."

"You mean these papers." Nathan smirked as he pulled out a manila envelope and tossed it to his dad. Inside were the shredded remains of the annulment papers.

"Nathan, what the hell do you think you're doing? This is your life we're talking about here.. you finally have a clean break and with Duke this fall, you have you're whole life ahead of you, don't blow this!" Dan grew anger.

"No, my life is in California and it will be wherever Haley goes."

"Don't make the same mistake.."

"Mistake?" Nathan cried out. "Are you kidding me? So what, you leaving USC to raise me was a mistake.. not raising Lucas? Which one is it Dad?"

"You're twisting my words.. what I meant was.."

"No Dad, I don't care what you think.. you already made that point across when you gave me the annulment papers last year."

"Which you signed!"

"After you practically forced me to."

"You did nothing that you didn't want to do.. remember she was the one who left you for dead."

"Well she came back and it was my fault for not doing anything about it then. I'm correcting my mistakes."

"The mistake is you running half way across the country to chase after some girl."

"Not some girl, THEE GIRL."

Dan shook his head. "I'm putting a stop to this.. I'm canceling all your credit cards." Nathan was already 18 and was already emancipated since he was 16 so Dan only had one card left to play with.

"Go ahead, I've never used it in months."

"These tickets don't come cheap and last time I checked you stopped rolling pretzels a while ago."

"As if it's any of your business, the money came from mom… you remember her, you used her family's money to earn your own." Nathan shot back and continued packing.

"Nathan.. look just think about this."

"Yes Dad, I have.. I've been thinking about it for over a year now and I'm done okay.. what I can't believe is that everything you went through with Karen that you would still force those annulment papers on me .. how could .."

"Karen? Her and Lucas have nothing to do with this."

"But it does, doesn't it? You don't fool me Dad, you loved Karen and settled for mom and in the process you made everyone miserable.. I won't make the same mistakes you did.. I won't become you."

It was clear to him now that Nathan wasn't budging. If Nathan wanted to keep this up, then so be it. It would only be a matter of time before this fails, again and Nathan would be running back to him.

"You're making a mistake son." Dan said as he was leaving. "I helped you out before, don't expect me to be there when you come running back for help."

"Well it's a good thing I won't be needing it." Nathan said confidently. "Look dad," Nathan scratched his head, his headache only growing worse. "I'm not asking you to like this, what I need for you is your support and if you can't give me that then you might as well go now."

And without another word from Dan Scott, he left the room.

. . . . .

Haley walked down the street and turned the corner onto the beach. Brooke really did live in a great area. Brooke was having dinner with her parents and Haley didn't want to intrude, besides, Haley just wanted some time alone.

There weren't that many people out anymore but she found a nice spot on the sand to sit and enjoy the approaching sunset. The sun, sand and surf, everything felt so calm and peaceful but it was anything but for Haley. Still, it was either be depressed in the back of a cramped RV or this, she choose the lesser of two evils.

"Beautiful isn't it?" A voice called out.

Shivers ran down her spine as she recognized the voice. She closed her eyes for a second, hoping she was imagining things, but then she opened them and turned her head to find Nathan Scott in the flesh. He was wearing a pair of cargo khaki shorts, a black polo shirt with all the buttons on top unbuttoned showing off his chiseled chest and his white sneakers in his hands. He looked like he stepped out of an Abrecrombie ad, not like Haley noticed, she was just making an observation.

He took a seat next to her and looked out onto the deep blue ocean.

"What.."

"What am I doing here?" Nathan finished for her and then gave her a small smile. _God she looked beautiful_. "I came for you." Nathan said softly.

"Don't!" Haley threw her hands up. "Nathan, you shouldn't have came. It's over between.."

"No.. it's not Haley." Nathan cut her off. "I know I hurt you and I know we have a lot of stuff we need to go through."

"You did hurt me Nathan but there's no _stuff_ left, there's nothing.. I'm sorry you had to come all the way over here to hear that but we're.. we're over and have been for a while." Haley said softly.

Nathan fought the onslaught of raw emotions and tried to stay focus, he knew this wasn't going to be easy.

"Haley.. we made mistakes.. I made mistakes.. but I still love you and I know you love me."

"I do love you, so don't make this any harder."

"It doesn't have to be… we can still have it Hales.. you and I, we can still have it all."

Haley gave him a small smile. There have been too many fights and yelling, she didn't need another argument. She needed closure.

"That would be nice wouldn't it? But we can't erase what happened."

"No but we can put it behind us."

"And then what Nathan? We've been apart longer than we've actually been together.. I know you love me and I know you're sorry and I'm trying so hard to let it go.. yes I was hurt and angry over what happened with Taylor but it only shows that we were over a long time ago."

"Haley, I can't change that and I'm sorry for but I'm trying to do better now."

Haley got up, not wanting to hear anymore for she was a hair's away from breaking.

"Nathan.." Haley dusted the sand from her jeans and Nathan stood up as well. "I appreciate you coming here.. really I do and I know you're sorry .. I guess I'm just disappointed.. disappointed that you could do something like that."

"But I didn't do anything with her." Nathan tried to point out, growing very frustrated and tired from his long flight here. "I was a mess, I thought you left me for Chris."

"But I didn't."

"I know that."

"And how would you like it if I went to Lucas right now, wanting to sleep with him? Or go see Chris for the same reason, to get back at you. Just think about that Nathan.. how would you feel?"

"…" Nathan stayed quiet, knowing full well what the answer is, just even the mention of it had his blood boiling.

"And how would you feel if I actually tried to do it and didn't bother to mention it for a year… look Nathan, I'm not trying to say this to upset you or get even with you.. we've both been burned.. it's time to move on." Haley said softly.

"I can't do that without you." Nathan replied, his voice thick with emotion and he took her hand in his.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, a stray tear falling. She squeezed his hands and held it up to her lips and gave it a small kiss.

"I will always love you Nathan Scott .. but after everything, I just.. I just can't be with you." And with that she took her hand away from his and started to walk away.

"Haley.. please.." He ran up to her. "Hales.." He reached for her hand, stopping her in her tracks.

"You're.. you're hurting me." She said softly and he looked down to see that he was gripping her arm a little too tight, but he had a feeling she didn't mean that. Reluctantly, he let her go.

"Please don't follow me.." Haley's voice cracked as she wiped away another tear.

He didn't want to push her any further. Seeing the pain in her eyes made him want to throw up, but he wouldn't be detoured, he wouldn't. He simply couldn't.

"I'm not going anywhere!" He called out those familiar words to her retreating form. Haley stopped for a moment, a sense of déjà vu, coming to her. A part of her felt happy to hear those words from him but yet an even bigger part of her told her to keep walking and so she did just that.

. . . . . .

SIt took nearly a day's drive but after countless miles of highway, a dessert and half a dozen bathroom breaks, he was finally here. Getting out of his rented car, he made his way to the directory to look at where he needed to go. When he left Tree Hill, he told his brother he needed to do something drastic and he didn't mean just flying out to California to see her.

Strolling into Arizona State University's auditorium, he headed up the stairs to the offices on the third floor. Stepping inside the athletic department, he went straight for the secretary.

"Can I help you?" The middle aged woman asked.

"Hi.. my name is Nathan Scott and I'm here to talk to the head of the basketball division."

"May I ask what for?" The secretary looked through the directory of phone numbers.

Nathan only smirked. "I want to know if they could use another point guard."

To Be Continued . . . .


	6. Chapter 6

Stillness

Chapter 6

Thank you all for lovely reviews. It's a little heartbreaking yes, but that's how I intended it to be, lol. I like stories where either Nathan or Haley have to fight for the other person but something about Season 3 always gets to me. Now this chapter is a little lighter than the previous ones. I've been a little busy writing lately, so please check out my new one-shot I posted up recent, "Officer Scott" as well as my latest update on "Behind the Scenes." I'm actually done with the next chapter in that one but I still got to read over it and stuff. I'll probably get started on "The mourning after" tomorrow. You're feedback means everything so please check those out if you enjoy my work. Enjoy this chapter and please review!

. . . . .

"I don't think he's coming." Brooke said as she flickered through the channels.

Haley looked at Brooke, putting the magazine she wasn't reading down.

"Who?"

Brooke huffed, _as if she didn't know_. "Nathan." She said casually.

"What? You're delusional!" Haley defended herself and picked the magazine back up.

"That's why you've been staring at the same page for ten minutes now?" Brooke cocked her eyes and before Haley could say anything, Brooke yanked the magazine from here, revealing a two page spread of Armani's new line. Brooke chuckled as she saw what Haley was looking at, or rather not looking at. "The bags cute." She put the magazine down and went back to flipping channels.

"Whatever." Haley mumbled as she shifted uncomfortably on the couch, with her eyes still on the front door.

"It's been two days, he's not coming." Brooke said once more. For four days, Nathan kept showing up at Brooke's wanting to see Haley and everyday she ignored him. It became a daily ritual and something Haley apparently missed. Even though, she didn't see him or talk to him, it was still nice knowing he was nearby.

"And how would you know?"

"Cuz he said so."

"What!?" Haley's eyes went wide. "When did you talk to him?"

"When he dropped off the flowers." Brooke nodded to the dozen or so bouquets that were currently on Brooke's dining room table. Everyday Nathan came and everyday he left flowers.

Haley narrowed her eyes, her annoyance growing on her soon to be ex-friend.

Brooke saw the angry glare and turned her attention back to Haley. "He came by the other day to drop of the flowers and he said he had to take off to take care of a few things. There, happy."

"You know you could've told me that two days ago!"

Brooke shrugged. "You didn't ask." Haley rolled her eyes again and shook her head.

"Besides, I wanted to make sure."

"Make sure of what?"

"That you still loved him."

"Brooke.. Nathan was my first love who I married.. of course I still love him."

"Yes, but I wanted to see if you still wanted him."

"I .. I don't want him back.. we're over." Haley said hesitantly.

"O-kay." Brooke said unconvinced as she started playing with her hair.

"Brooke!" Haley exclaimed. "I'm serious, we had our chance, it's over."

Brooke got up and padded Haley on the head. "It's only over if you want it to be." And then made her way into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water.

"I can't believe after everything's that's happened, you just want me to go running back to him."

"I didn't say that." Brooke closed the refrigerator. "And believe me, I ripped him a new hole when I yelled at him for the whole Taylor debacle .. but he didn't budge. I got to give the boy credit, he's as stubborn as he is persistent."

"So, what should I do?"

"I don't know Hales, it's up to you." Brooke sighed, feeling sorry for her friend. "But checking every five minutes to see if he's here and then pushing him away when he is.. seriously Hales, you've got to do something."

Haley stayed quiet and looked down. Brooke hated seeing Haley so sad and beat down. It was just like how last school year was when Haley moved in with her.

"I would've at least taken his offer to go to the beach.. I mean yeah Nathan's a jerk .. but a jerk with a great six pac." Brooke grinned, trying to lighten up the mood. Haley tried to feign annoyance although she had to give it to Brooke for helping her feel better, no matter how inappropriate.

"Whatever.." Haley huffed. "He's gone now."

"When it comes to Nathan Scott, I wouldn't rule anything out." Brooke said as she took a sip.

. . . . .

Haley was suffocating. How this taxi driver was able to drive in this heat with no air conditioning was beyond her. A few hours ago, she left LA on a plane and headed to Phoenix for her freshmen orientation. Getting out of the cab, she was glad she had singles so she gave the exact amount. She wasn't going to let this jerk get a tip after he made her sweat off about five pounds.

Looking around at her surroundings, it was almost surreal to think that in a couple of more weeks, she would be attending here. She grabbed her duffle bag and headed up the stairs towards registration. She hoped that this trip to her new school would get her excited for the upcoming semester.

Like most colleges, orientation was usually an overnight affair with endless presentations about what the school had to offer and of course meeting with your advisor to discuss course selection. All in all, it was a good distraction from everything going on.

"Haley James." She smiled at the volunteer in front of her. The young lady in front of her must've been a student here. She didn't look that much older than her. Flipping through some papers, the young lady frowned.

"I .. umm.. I don't see you here."

"What?" Haley scratched her head but realized. "Oh.. I'm sorry.. umm.. Haley Scott." Haley felt embarrassed, she was still technically a Scott.

The young lady gave her a curious look. _Great,_ Haley thought, _she must think I'm so weirdo for not even remembering my own name. _

"Ahh.. yes .. here we are.." The young lady pulled out a folder with a bunch of papers inside. "Here's your packet, bring it with you when we meet at the conference center just down that hall. We're going to get started in about an hour and a half, until then you're free to roam the campus or go to your room and get settled .. this is your key card to let you in the dorms.. you're in room 2332. . We'll be here if you have any other questions."

"Thanks." Haley smiled warmly and gathered her things.

Haley found the dorms with little problems, but she was drenched in sweat. She did want sun, she thought to herself. She couldn't wait to put her things down and take a cold shower before going back to the Campus Center.

The dorms were as expected, nothing too flashy or terrible. There were a couple of people roaming around but not too many. She entered her room and saw two twin beds right next to each other and two desks and two dressers on the other side. _Great, _she thought. The cleaning people didn't bother to set her room up properly. She already saw that someone else was here and she hoped her temporary roommate would help her move the stuff around. She closed the door and heard, who she presumed was her roommate, taking a shower in their bathroom.

She put her things down and grabbed her toiletries and a towel. Then she walked to the other side of the room to peer out the window. She heard the shower stop running and then the door open. She took a deep breath ready to meet her new roommate but her jaw dropped as she saw Nathan there, a huge smirk on his face and what she realized was a way too small tower, wrapped casually over his waist.

She felt the temperature rise even more as he stood there, dripping wet, muscles glistening, acting as if he came out of an Abrecrombie ad that or a cheap porn.

"Na.. Nathan?"

"Hey Roomie."

"What.. what.." Haley was trying to formulate the words.

"Damn, if I knew you were going to take a shower, I would've waited for you." He winked at her.

Haley shook her head. "I don't know what this is Nathan but when I come back, you better be gone!" She rushed passed him and entered the bathroom. She turned around to hear him chuckling and catching his back, she saw him remove his towel, his buns of steel coming in full view and she wanted to slap him for a whole hosts of reasons.

. . . . . .

"He did what?!" Lucas exclaimed over the phone.

"Apparently, he's transferring here." Haley sighed. After she took a shower, Nathan was still there. Determined to talk to her, he told her, he was transferring here if and that would be that. Haley couldn't take another word as she quickly changed and made their way to orientation. Nathan stuck by her like glue but luckily, she was getting a tour of the English department and finally got separated from him. She had a 15 minute break before the next presentation and so she had to talk to someone.

"I can't believe this." Lucas replied. "Wait, this is Nathan, I take that back."

"I can't believe him.. how could he throw away Duke to go here.. God!" Haley was getting furious at the thought that Nathan would throw away something he'd been working his whole life for.

"For you Hales."

"I just want him to go." Haley said softly.

"I don't think that's going to happen buddy.. at least not for the rest of the weekend." Lucas tried to point out. "Well, he's persistent as he is stubborn."

Haley laughed sarcastically. "Funny.. Brooke said the same thing."

And they were right, he would be stubborn but he was no match for Haley James soon to be former Scott.

. . . . .

The whole day blew. How the hell was he supposed to get some face time with Haley when the school had him hurtled around like cattle from one place to another. He had a headache, he hated orientations. It didn't help that a couple of girls tried to hit on him, that was so the last thing he needed.

Coming in front of room 2332, he saw the lights were already on, which meant that Haley was inside. He started to feel a thousand times better. They could finally get some alone time.

He opened the door, an amused look on his face, as he saw Haley bent in front of him trying to move the two twin beds apart.

"Are you going to just stand there or are you going to help me?" Haley turned her back and glared at Nathan while she tried to pull on the surprisingly heavy beds apart.

"Nope.. I'm enjoying the view."

"God you're such an ass!"

It took everything in Nathan not to say a smart comment back but he already knew Haley was on edge and he didn't want to piss her off even further than he had to.

"Nope, no can do."

"Nathan.. if you think we're going to sleep together in the same bed.."

"Technically, we won't be.. there are two beds there, we'll just be really close to each other."

Haley threw her hands up in defeat. "I don't even know why I bother."

"Haley look.."

"No, Nathan.. you look.. do you think this is funny or some sort of game?"

"No of course not."

"Then stop acting like it is. Jesus Nathan.. this is your life we're talking about here.. what happened to Duke?"

"I couldn't go there knowing you were here."

"Why?"

"Why? Because I love you that's why!"

"God, Nathan.. this is a mistake."

"Then it's mine to make.. look Haley, I told you I wasn't going anywhere."

"And if you go here, you really won't be going anywhere." Haley sighed as she took a seat. "Nathan, I spoke to admissions.. you're not even officially a student yet.. the basketball team hasn't picked you up yet."

"They will."

"And if they don't."

"It doesn't matter."

"Nathan, do you even hear yourself?"

"I can play basketball wherever Haley.. it doesn't matter.. as.. as long as you're there."

He expected her to be angrier and to yell more but she looked up at him, he wasn't expecting to see the sad and defeated look she had on. "You made a mistake." She repeated softly as she got up to change into her night clothes.

. . . .

"Are you alright?" He turned to Haley who was buried under the thin sheets. He couldn't believe that she was only a foot away but yet he was so far from her.

"It's scorching during the day and at night they apparently turn the place into igloos." Haley chattered her teeth. She only brought shorts, summer dresses and tank tops with her. She didn't think she'd need a sweat shirt. She didn't know how Nathan could just sleep there in just his boxer shorts. The room was freezing.

After Haley changed, an uncomfortable silence swept over them. He knew it wasn't going to be easy but having Haley repeat to him what he was actually giving up and saying it was a mistake for him to be here was weighing heavily on him. He was crazy alright but he had to take this risk. So many times over the past year he wanted to do that with Haley but something always held him back and it was so easy to run away. But now if he did nothing, then he would loose her and he wasn't go to let that happen.. not again.

Nathan sat up and took his sheet and placed it over Haley.

"Nathan.. you don't .." She tried to protest and she was just as surprise when she felt him saddle up to her, getting in under the sheets with her and pulling her close to him.

"Nathan.. stop this.." Her hand met his hard chest. "If you think that I'm just going to just have sex.."

"Hales you know I would never pressure you about that." He said in a serious tone. "I remember how cold you always got in the apartment, no matter how hot it was, so would you relax, I'm not going to try anything… no let's get some sleep."

"Nathan.. we can't .." she tried to push off him.

"Hales.. I'm just asking for you to sleep with me.. sleep that's it.. it won't kill you."

"Right." She said sarcastically.

"Look.. just come here and do me a favor." He held her close. Getting tired and not wanting to argue anymore.

"Okay.. fine.. what?"

"Just close your eyes and take a deep breath."

"Nathan.."

"Hales.. please."

She shook her head as it rested against his hard chest, she hated to admit how comfortable she felt and how her chills had stopped. A half naked Nathan Scott could send any woman ablaze. She took her mind out of the gutter and did as Nathan requested. She longed to feel some sort of repulsion but it wouldn't come. All she felt was comfort, the same comfort and warmness she'd longed for and missed for the past year. And with those distance memories now a realty, she drifted off to sleep, once again in the embrace of her husband.

Nathan felt her breathing steadily and her shaking stop. He looked down and smiled as she fell asleep. Holding her felt so great, so wonderful. It reminded him of how he got addicted to this, just holding her. After getting emancipated and having his own place, he would often sneak over Haley's to just sleep with her. Before her, he didn't know just how good it was just to be with someone else. His smile dropped once he realized their present. For tonight, he'd have her and he only hoped that tomorrow, she would still be his.

. . . . .

Nathan tossed in bed and hugged the pillow a little tighter. It was then that alarm bells came blaring through his mind and he shot up from bed and found that he was alone. He panicked and looked around and saw that all of Haley's things were gone.

He got up off of bed and noticed a note on the desk.

_Nathan,_

_You looked so peaceful, I didn't want to disturb you. I love you Nathan, I never denied that and I probably always will but I can't go down there again. We had our chance, it didn't work out. I'll always care for you and I want you to be happy which is why I called Duke this morning. You're spot is still waiting for you. There's still time, don't blow it. _

_Haley_

Nathan stared at the letter for a minute before he scrunched it up in his hands and violently threw it across the room and slamming his fists against the desk, his frustration, anger and sadness taking over him. . Once again, Haley had left him and left a chilling note behind.

To Be Continued . . . .


	7. Chapter 7

Stillness

Chapter 7

Thank you all for the reviews, I secretly love all the angst too lol. I have no excuses for the lack of updates except that real life once again has me very busy. I did update "Behind the Scenes" the other day, so please check that out. I must say that I enjoyed typing up this chapter. Enjoy this chapter and please review!!

. . . . .

KNOCK KNOCK

Lucas turned the knob to his door and slowly opened it.

"Nathan?" Lucas questioned as he peaked out through the door.

"Hey..you free?" Nathan clutched the basketball in his hand.

"Umm.. yeah." Lucas responded as he carefully opened the door and stepped out but made sure to keep it slightly ajar.

"What's going on?" Lucas asked as he took in his brother's attire, a cut off shirt, basketball shorts and sneakers.

"I was wondering if you wanted to shoot around." He said hopefully.

"Funny.. I thought you'd still be in Arizona." Lucas raised an eyebrow as he sat down on the steps and Nathan joined him.

"You talked to Haley?"

Lucas nodded. Nathan was about to say something, but the words failed him. Ever since he got back from Arizona, he felt even more loss than ever.

"I didn't think you would go that far, what happened?"

"Yeah, well it didn't work." Nathan sighed.

"So you're really going to go to ASU, what about Duke?"

"I don't know man. Their coach likes me but it's getting close to the start of the semester so he doesn't know if he can have me .. and at the same time pre-training at Duke starts up in a few weeks and if they find out what I did … or what I'm trying to do .. I don't think they would like that very much." Nathan put it mildly.

Lucas nodded, seeing the defeated look on his brother's face. "I still can't believe you did that.. when you said you would do anything.. I didn't think you would actually do _that_ .. I thought Duke was your dream school."

"Whatever." Nathan shrugged, Duke didn't mean anything with out Haley, nothing did. "Like I said, it didn't work out too well."

"What happened? If you don't mind me asking."

"I thought you talked to Haley."

"Yeah, but I want to know what you think."

"Why?" Nathan asked. "It doesn't matter."

"It matters to me .. look Nate, despite everything that's happened with me and you .. and you and Haley.. we're .. we're still brothers and it doesn't have to be either or .. I'm here for both of you.. even if it's just to listen … cuz seriously dude.. you look like shit." Lucas tried to joke and lighten up the mood. It was clear that Nathan just needed someone to talk to, it's clear to anyone that the situation still didn't look good for him and Haley.

"Gee thanks." Nathan rolled his eyes. "So you know I went to LA?"

"Yeah.. how much did you spend on flowers?"

"A lot." Nathan chuckled. "We talked a little bit but nothing really happened, I figured she was scared which was understandable, I needed her to know I wasn't going anywhere and so it came to me that if I wasn't going anywhere, I have to be where _she_ will be so I hightailed to Arizona and begged them to let me transfer."

"And then you went to orientation?"

"Yeah, I am still Haley's husband so I was able to get us in the same dorm room .. I tried.. again and I umm.. I thought I made some progress.. the room was really cold because of the AC and we ended up sharing the same bed."

"What?"

"More like, me pushing the beds together and sort of forcing Haley to snuggle up to me to keep me warm."

"Well that explains it." Lucas rolled his eyes.

"Relax, I didn't do any more than thought." Nathan wanted to point out. Yes, he missed his wife like crazy but he wasn't going to do something like that to her, he knew how much sex meant to her, something he learned a long time ago when they dated.

"It was nice you know… having her in my arms like, holding her while she slept. God I don't even know how late I stayed up just watching her, everything felt right. I know I was in denial this past year, I know we're meant to be together but then I woke up." Nathan sighed.

"And what happened."

"The dream ended and the reality sunk in, she was gone and left me a note saying good bye and not to ruin my chances at Duke."

"Wow."

"I guess she didn't tell you that part." Nathan raised his eyebrow.

"She didn't give specifics.. I'm.. I'm sorry man."

Nathan shrugged. "I don't know what to do anymore.. on one hand I want Haley more than anything but what am I going to do if I don't get to ASU.. I can move there and then what? I'd have no job, not going to school.. I'm sure Haley will love that." He said sarcastically. "Or go to Duke and be two thousand miles apart." Nathan sighed.

Lucas felt sorry for his brother, it seemed like no matter what he did, he would be boxed in. The only way things could work out is if ASU accepted Nathan, which given how late it was in the summer, it seemed doubtful. The roster has already been filled.

"She keeps leaving me." Nathan muttered softly and Lucas looked at him curiously.

"She keeps leaving me." He said in a louder tone. "She left me for the tour and I nearly died .. you know that." Nathan added when Lucas gave him a weird look.

"Huh?"

"Cooper.. the race track."

"Oh." Lucas sucked in his breath. "That wasn't an accident?" He prodded.

Nathan scratched his head. "Yes.. no .. I don't know.." Nathan paused. "I went to see Haley on tour.. I tried to get her to come back home but.." Nathan shook his head. "She didn't want to .. she didn't want me and so on my way back I was so hurt and angry and then Taylor called me .. well you know what happened." Nathan looked down. "Anyways, after that, I felt even crappier and that's when Cooper came to town and well you were there." Nathan said off-handily.

"You could've stopped but you kept driving faster." Lucas recalled.

"The speed felt nice.. it took away the pain.. dulled it." Nathan rubbed his hands together and sighed once more. "After that I accepted that Haley left me and she wasn't coming back and that I had to move on.. I couldn't go through all that again."

"And that's why you kept pushing Haley away when she came back." Lucas filled in the blanks while Nathan remained silent. He knew Nathan was hurt when Haley left, but unless it happened to you then you don't know how the other person felt. "I.. I wish you would've told me .. or someone." Lucas replied. He may not have liked what he put Haley through but at least now he had a better idea of what he was going through. He knew Nathan was having a hard time, the extent of which he didn't know.

"I sort of talked to Peyton.. but it wasn't something I felt like sharing at the time." Nathan lamented as he swirled the basketball in his hands.

"So what are you going to do?" Lucas asked carefully after another long pause.

"I.. I don't know.. I don't even know where she is.. Luke, you know where.. ahh.. nevermind." Nathan said frustrated.

"Nate.."

"Look, you don't have to tell me where she is.. I don't want to put you in the middle."

"I already sort of am."

"Well you know what I mean.. and it's not like I can go out and just fly to wherever I want .. I'm sure my dad is going to freak once he sees his credit card bill and that I may not be playing at Duke anymore or at any school for that matter."

"I'm.. I'm sorry Nate.." Lucas didn't know what else to say.

"Luke, it's okay I deserve it I don't need your symp.."

"I meant." Lucas interrupted. "I'm sorry I'm going to kick your ass in ball." Lucas teased as he grabbed the ball from Nathan, hoping basketball would give Nathan the proper distraction, at least for a little bit.

Nathan gave a small smile, relieved to move on to something else other than his sorrows. He hoped shooting around would help clear his mind.

"Just give me a second." Lucas stood up. "I'm just going to change." Lucas tossed the ball back to him and looked up at the thickening clouds. He hoped it wasn't going to rain, the forecast didn't call for it today.

"Okay.. I'll wait for you in my car." Nathan got up and walked towards his parked car. When he saw Nathan get in, Lucas went back inside his room and closed his door, making sure to lock it.

He turned to Haley who was sitting on his bed, her face expressionless and unreadable.

"You heard that?" Lucas asked carefully.

She looked up, her face a mask of doubt and insecurity. "Yes." She said barely above a whisper.

. . .

Two hours later and in the middle of the River Court, Lucas dribbled the ball. Taking a look at the basket, he raised his right arm and hurled the ball to the basket. He hit the rim but the ball didn't go in.

"And that's E!" Nathan raised his hand in triumph. "That's horse buddy.. you lose.. _again_." Nathan quipped.

The two brothers shot around for a little bit and then played a game of one on one. Neither Scott was playing to their fullest, just content to pass the time on this lazy afternoon. The clouds helped cover the sun, so it wasn't too hot but it was starting to get humid. Nathan won of course but Lucas had a feeling that Nathan was letting him win. They started to play a game of Horse and this time Nathan didn't hold back and full on trash talking ensued.

"No.. we're playing plurals." Lucas replied.

"What? The game's Horse not Scrabble." Nathan gave his brother a confused look.

"No.. plural meaning.. Hors_es_.. so I still get another chance."

Nathan couldn't hold back his laughter and neither could Lucas.

"You are such a loser!" Nathan teased.

"Look.. I don't know how you made that last shot in but no way I'm losing."

"Sorry bro. .I won.." Nathan chuckled as he picked up the basketball. "_Horses_.. I can't believe you."

"One more round." Lucas wasn't going to go home empty handed.

"Fine." Nathan shrugged. "If you want to loose again then soo…" His voice trailed off as he saw a petite figure walking his way.

"Nate?" Lucas asked as Nathan let the ball fall to the ground. It was then that Lucas turned around to follow Nathan's gaze. Then he turned back to Nathan.

"She's here." Nathan muttered.

Lucas nodded. It sounded like a question but Nathan was just thinking a loud. He couldn't believe that she was really here in Tree Hill. It dawned on him at that moment that Lucas didn't look surprised at all and he wondered just how much in the _middle_ he was in.

"Umm.. I think I'm going to take off." Lucas mumbled as Haley walked closer, but Nathan kept his focus on Haley, not even acknowledging his exit.

Lucas and Haley locked eyes for a second while they walked by each other and then a second later, she was in front of Nathan.

"Hi." She mumbled after a moment of silence.

"Hi.. you're here." Nathan replied. "I.." Nathan tried to speak but he was still in shock.

"I'm sorry I just took off like that back at ASU." Haley broke the ice.

"No.. it's okay." Nathan stepped closer. "I'm glad you're back." Nathan reached out and tucked away a stray strand of hair behind her ears, a move that always left Haley's stomach doing flops. But just as quickly, she took a step back.

"I don't know how to do this." She said honestly.

"What? Us?"

Haley nodded and Nathan took a step closer to her.

"Haley, I love you and I know I hurt you .. but I want us to be together again .. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize this but.."

"It's not that easy." She took another step back.

"Yes, it can be."

"No it can't." Haley's voice choked and she looked like she was going to crack at any second.

"Then why are you here? Why are you back in Tree Hill?" He pushed her.

"I… I .." Haley was fumbling with her words. After leaving ASU, Haley felt totally lost again. Seeing Nathan and being with him again had sent her reeling. It was so easy to get lost in him again, so tempting. So she sought out the only other person she knew who could comfort her, her best friend, her brother in law and in the place that will always be known as home. It didn't escape her that Nathan would most likely also be around.

He may be getting ahead of himself, but he was damn sure that she was here for him, she had to be. "I know why." He said firmly as he stepped even closer to her and before she could move back again, he wrapped his arms around her and crashed his lips onto hers.

It was as if he was blind and now he could see. What was once black and white was now alive in vibrant colors. It was the most incredible feeling Nathan had, not since the last time he kissed Haley, touched her, felt tongue swirl against his.

They were both so caught up that they didn't notice the drizzle that started to fall. A clasp of thunder in the distance finally alerted them and Haley pulled away from Nathan.

"No.. I can't do this." The rain starting falling harder, masking her tears.

"Yes, you can… we can." Nathan said desperately and he kissed her once more, the feeling of losing her again was too much for him to bear.

With her last ounce of strength, she managed to break away from his embrace.

"No!" She cried out and took a step back. "I can't Nathan.. I can't." The rain poured harder.

"I can't be that girl Nathan." Haley shook her head. "I'm not.. I'm not her."

"What? You can't be what? My wife!" Nathan countered.

"Yes." She cried out. "I'm not perfect, Nathan.. no one is."

"I'm not saying you are." Nathan was perplexed.

"I make mistakes Nathan.. I do and sometimes I want to be selfish and I want to do my own thing … I never meant to hurt you."

"Hales.." Nathan's voice softened.

"I didn't want to hurt you but I did.. I can't take that back and I don't want to go back to where we were and wonder if I make a mistake or if I hurt you that you would shut me out and close me off.. I can't live like that and I can't go through it again." She cried even harder as they were both getting drenched.

"Hales.." Nathan tried to interrupt and moved closer to her but she took another step back.

"You didn't deserve what I put you through.. you were an incredible husband and I took you for granted when I left…I failed you as a wife.. I can't.. I won't do that again." She shook her head and started to run away, away from the man she no longer can hurt, the same man who could no longer hurt her.

To Be Continued . . . .


	8. Chapter 8

Stillness

Chapter 8

Thank you all for the reviews, they make my day and I'm so glad you're enjoying this story. I did chuckle at some comments regarding Haley. In the beginning, it was Nathan who was a jerk for what he did and now it's being turned back on Haley lol. Well part of the reason why she ran away from Nathan will be explained. I'm sorry for not updating sooner but if you follow my other stories I went on vacation. Check out Make it Last, I finally wrapped that up as well as my other stories. I'm going to try to update as soon as I can.

I'm also kicking myself in the but because tomorrow is the premiere and I have not TV to watch it. Long story but I've had living arrangement drama and can't wait to move out and get my own place again, once that happens, I will probably be able to write more.

Enjoy and please review!

. . . . .

She ran.

It didn't matter how hard the rain was falling or how cold she felt, she just ran. The tears flowed freely, blending in with the hard rain falling upon her. She knew why she was running. It was Nathan.

She could almost kill Lucas for leaving the door open earlier and her curiosity for standing by the doorway to hear their conversation. When she left for the tour, she knew Nathan was hurt but it never really sunk in just how deep her betrayal was.

She knew he was upset and not in the right state of mind when he went to see Taylor, but she had no clue about what happened with Cooper. She assumed it was an accident on the race track but it wasn't. It was one thing for Nathan to try to hurt Haley to get back at her but it was another thing to hurt himself. She caused that much pain and she had a better understanding as to why he was so distant from her for the past year. It wasn't right but at least she understood it better.

Just the thought of him dying on that racetrack sent shivers down her spine. Then there was Duke. She had to admit that a part of her was secretly happy that he was fighting for her, that he wanted to transfer to ASU. But basketball was his dream ever since he could walk and hold a basketball. Here he was willing to sacrifice it all and nearly his life, literally, for her. And what did she do, she left him for the tour, she hurt him so deeply and she couldn't bear the thought of hurting him once more. She didn't deserve him. They both hurt each other so bad, she couldn't go through that again.

"Haley!!" She heard Nathan's voice roaring from behind her but she kept running. She heard him coming, his footsteps splashing on puddles and she knew it would be a matter of time before he caught up to her.

"Would you stop!?!" Nathan roared as he ran up in front of her and blocked her path.

She took a step to the left and then to the right but with each move Nathan countered.

"Would you get out of my way?!" She pleaded.

"NO!" Nathan said firmly.

"Nathan, please!"

"No! I'm not letting you go.. not this time." His resolve remained. Ever since he came back to Tree Hill, he had a sinking feeling that he may never see Haley again, or at least not for a very long time. For her to be here now was almost surreal and he wasn't going to waste the opportunity. Time wasn't on their side with the upcoming semester approaching and although it was his fault for waiting this long and shutting her out, he was going to do everything in his power to win her back.

"Nathan, it's pouring!"

"And you're the crazy person running in the rain."

Haley ignored him and tried to by pass him once more but he was too quick. She knew it was useless to try and outrun him. He was after all far more athletic and it showed by his drenched t-shirt. She tore her eyes away from him. She was already vulnerable.

"Look, we can stand out here in the rain or you could at least let me give you a ride." Nathan offered.

She stood there and Nathan took it as a sign that she was contemplating his offer. "Come on, my car is this way." He extended his hand. She looked at him for a second and just then a large clasp of thunder roared through. Deciding on the lesser of two evils, she walked towards Nathan but making sure not to take his hand.

Nathan felt a little disappointed but he let it pass. She had agreed to go with him and at least that was a start. They quickly made their way inside Nathan's car, both of them completely drenched. Nathan started the engine and turned the heat up. Even though it was summer, the cold rain even had him shivering. He could see Haley chattering her teeth and decided that he could wait until they were both dry and comfortable before tackling their issues. He turned on his wipers and started to drive.

Haley was grateful for the silence, she didn't know what to say to him so she just stared out the window, watching the rain hit the glass.

"Wait.. this isn't the way to Lucas'!" She exclaimed.

"I know."

"Where are we going?"

"My … our house." Nathan corrected himself.

"Nathan, can you please just take me to Lucas', all my stuff is there."

"My place is closer and I have plenty of spare clothes and towels."

"Nathan." She pleaded with him once more take her to Lucas' but he ignored her requests and it wasn't long before they pulled into Nathan's driveway. With the heavy rains and the endless deep puddles they passed, she knew it would be useless in trying to fight Nathan into driving her to Lucas'.

It was another minute later when they entered the house. Haley remained in the foyer as she was still drenched and didn't want to further wet the floor.

"Let me get us some towels." Nathan said as he closed the door and removed his drenched shirt. Haley couldn't help but admire the site of his muscles glistening wet but she quickly put her head down, while her teeth chattered.

Nathan went to the linen closet down the hall and grabbed two towels. He wrapped one around his shoulders and quickly made his way back to Haley and wrapped the towel around her shoulders and rubbing her arms for warmth. Haley's chattering stopped. Being this close to Nathan was raising her own body temperature.

"You can go to the bathroom down the hall. I'll grab you some dry clothes."

Haley nodded and walked by him and headed towards the bathroom. Nathan ran up to his room and opened his closet door. He grabbed an old pair of gray sweats and a Raven's t-shirt and went back downstairs. He handed the clothes off to Haley and went back to his room to change.

. . . .

Haley took her time changing and drying up. She was trying to bide as much time before she had to face Nathan again. She had to admit that she felt a thousand times better being in dry clothes. She took a whiff of the shirt she was wearing and she could already smell Nathan's scent on it.

She hung her wet clothes over the rack and then made her way out into the hall and into the kitchen.

"Hey." Nathan smiled warmly. Her hair was still damp but was pulled back in a pony tail, her face was flushed and she looked way too small in his clothes. To make the shirt fit better, she rolled up the sleeves and tightened the back. She never looked so beautiful. He always liked it when she wore his clothes.

"Hey." Haley said nervously.

It took Nathan a second to react, he was so drawn to her. "Umm.. I made us hot chocolate." He pushed the warm mug towards her and she took a seat on the counter opposite him.

"Thanks… and umm.. thanks for the clothes."

"You're welcome."

"Look, once it starts letting up, I'm going to go back to Lucas."

"I just checked the weather, it's going to be like this for a while."

Haley sighed, just her luck.

"I don't want to impose."

"Hales, relax.. it's just me."

She snorted and shook her head. "That's the problem."

Nathan frowned. "I didn't think it would come to this." He mumbled softly.

"Come to what?" Haley found herself asking.

"That you would be afraid of me." He replied softly, looking up at her with sad eyes and her heart felt for him.

"I'm not afraid of you." Haley replied. "I just don't know how to act around you." Haley replied carefully.

Nathan nodded and Haley could feel the tension grow.

"Look I hung my clothes.. you think I could put it in the dryer?" Haley wanted to desperately change topics.

'Umm.. yeah sure." Nathan stood up straight but at that moment the lights flickered and turned off.

. . . .

Nathan lighted some candles and streamed the local radio station through his phone. Apparently the whole county as well as most of the surrounding areas lost power and that there was flash flooding everywhere. The governor had ordered a state of emergency and police and state troopers were called in to close off all roads.

"It's like martial law out there." Haley commented.

"Yeah.. so I guess you're stuck here." Nathan couldn't help but have a hint of excitement in his voice.

"I guess so." Haley felt her heart beat faster. They were still in the kitchen surrounded by candles. It would have made for quite the romantic scene if there wasn't so much tension between them.

"Umm.. let's see what we could do about dinner." Haley hopped off the stool and started to raid the fridge and the cabinets in an attempt to distract herself.

. . . . .

"What?" Haley questioned as she poured milk into her bowl of cereal. Nathan was giving her such an intense look.

"Nothing." He shook his head. "I was just thinking about the last time you wore that shirt."

Haley looked down and saw the Raven's logo.

"I don't remember.. you have like a ton of these shirts."

"Well, it was right after you moved in with me, the apartment was a mess, instead of going through your stuff to find your PJ's, you just slept in that shirt."

"Oh." Haley answered as she thought back to that night. She remembered it well.

"I remember you coming out of the bathroom with only that on.. you looked so sexy." Nathan smirked and Haley couldn't help but blush.

"Whatever." Haley looked away as she turned a shade red. Nathan chuckled softly. He was enjoying the calmness between the two of them. It was nice and he didn't want to do anything to drastic to tip the scales.

"Anyways." Haley changed topics. "I can't believe you only have cereal here." Haley teased as she took another spoonful of her cereal.

"Well it's only me here since Dan stays at the beach house and I guess I forgot to pick up some groceries."

"Forgot?" Haley raised her eyebrows.

"Okay, I was too lazy to go out and get some .. but for my part I didn't know a monsoon was heading this way."

Haley softly chuckled. Figures. "But what about Deb? Where is she?"

"Oh she went to visit her brother."

"Your Uncle Cooper?" Haley said nervously.

Nathan nodded and noticed the worried look on Haley's face.

"What is it?"

"Nothing." Haley replied far too quickly.

"That doesn't sound like nothing."

"Well it is." Haley sounded annoyed.

"Wait.. how do you know about Cooper? I never mentioned him."

"Yes you have."

"No."

"Yes, you have." Haley couldn't believe he was being stubborn over something so minor.

"I never mentioned my mom's side of the family before."

Haley scrunched her face. "Of course you have.. I mean I don't exactly remember when but you did."

"I would remember." Nathan stated firmly as he flipped through memories in his mind.

"For God's sake Nathan, you mentioned him just like how I mentioned my family.. .sheesh."

"No I didn't." Nathan couldn't help but smirk.

"Because you have photographic memory all of a sudden?" Haley questioned. "When I tutored you, you could barely remember all those formulas for math or dates for history but you remember that you never mentioned your Uncle Cooper to me."

"Yes, I remember everything."

"Just cuz you remembered when I wore this shirt doesn't mean anything." Haley scoffed.

"I remember one day during gym class you accidentally took those very sweat pants to class." Nathan smirked.

Haley started to think. "And I sat on a broken pen and there's a stain.."

"By the pocket." Nathan finished for her as she looked down and saw said stain.

"I also remember those boots you were wearing earlier, you wore them when we went to the DMV and we had to wait five hours while we waited for your new license with my last name on it."

Haley sat there, stunned and with her jaw hanging down.

"I remember." He said in a softer tone. All their memories came back to him and he was cursing to himself. Because of his stubbornness, they hadn't been able to create new ones.

"You.. you made your point." Haley played with her fingers. "Well Lucas must've mentioned it or something, I mean he was with you when you went to the race track.. when.." Haley sighed. "When you told me not to see you in the hospital." Haley looked down.

Nathan instantly flinched as the memory. That was when it all started, when he decided to push her away.

"I'm sorry for that.. I wanted you there but I was still upset and I didn't want to see you." He said truthfully with a bit of regret.

"Yeah.. well you're okay now." Haley said, her voice cracking.

He looked at her curiously for a second, she was avoiding looking at him directly and he could tell she was nervous. It suddenly dawned on him that she was staying at Lucas' place, the same place he was at earlier.

"You were there." He said softly.

"No, I was at the airport but you told me not to go to the hospital."

"No, not that.. you were there.. today, when I went to see Lucas."

"…."

"So you heard?" Nathan asked.

Haley still didn't look at him and just nodded her head.

Nathan studied her face as she remained silent. He then watched as a single tear fell from her eye.

"Hales.."

"No!" Haley exclaimed as she wiped her eyes. "Look, I know I hurt you and I'm sorry, if I could take it back I would."

"I know."

"I won't hurt you again." She promised.

"By not being with me." He crossed his arms.

"Yes." She replied back. "I hurt you.. you hurt me.. you ignored me for the past year and then now you want me back and then Taylor and …." Haley shook her head. "It's clear that all we do is just hurt each other." Haley took a deep breath.

"God! You almost killed yourself on that racetrack because of me .. and then with Duke and basketball, I won't let you give up your life and dreams because of me."

"Is that what you think?"

"It's the truth isn't it?"

"I mean, yes I was upset and hurt when I was on the track and basketball is my dream.. but.. but so are you Haley." He said sincerely. "I could always play basketball Hales but there's only one you."

Haley's tears kept flowing this time.

"Yes we hurt each other.. yes we've made mistakes but isn't it time to correct them?"

"I'm.. I'm scared." She said truthfully.

He walked around towards her and gently wiped away her tears with his hand.

"So am I." He said softly.

"What if it doesn't work.. what if I hurt you again or you hurt me.."

"What if, instead of hurting each other, we help each other." Nathan countered. "We made mistakes Hales.. and we _will_ make mistakes along the way but ask your self what if, what if everything turns out ok." He cupped her face in his hands. "What if we can have it all."

She looked at him, with nothing but love looking back at her. Nathan ran his hand through her damp her and then leaned in slowly. Her heart was racing as he inched closer but she couldn't move and before she knew it, Nathan's lips was on her's.

When they were both breathless, Nathan stepped back and tried to gauge her reaction. She slowly opened her eyes and looked back at Nathan, her lips were still tingling and her body felt like it was on fire.

"Yeah." She mumbled and then she lunged forward and into his arms, kissing him deeply and passionately.

It didn't take long for them to make it upstairs into Nathan's bedroom. Haley wrapped her arms and legs around him as he walked them up into the privacy of his room. He closed the door and gently laid her on his bed. He looked at her for a second and took the moment to remove his shirt. He watched as Haley checked him out and he smirked.

His lips were back onto her's and Haley felt herself loosing herself in Nathan. When she felt his hands try to remove her shirt, she was suddenly snapped back to realty. As good as this felt, she didn't want to get caught up in the moment.

"Wait!" She pushed Nathan off her.

"Huh?"

"Look.. I'm.. I'm sorry.. it's just.. maybe.. maybe we should take things slow." She said catching her breath and her eyes pleading with him to understand.

"Umm.. yeah.. sure." Nathan replied. He mentally kicked himself in the ass. He knew he crossed the line and he shouldn't have pressured Haley into sleeping with him.

"Thanks." She gave him a smile and gently squeezed his hand.

Just then another clasp of thunder rang through and the room was briefly illuminated by lightening from the outside. Something caught Haley's eyes.

"What's.. what's this?" Haley got up from the bed and walked over to the closet door. Inside the door, there was a bunch of newspapers and articles pasted on it. She looked closer at it and saw that the articles were of her, when she was on the tour. There was even a small map where a thumb tack was placed over each city Haley sang in. She couldn't believe it.

Nathan came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. "I was hurt when you left Hales.. but I was always proud of you.. everyday."

Haley turned around, her eyes swelling with tears once more.

"Hey.. don't cry." Nathan pleaded as he wiped away her tears once more.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and ran her hand through his dark hair. She looked deeply into his deep blue and soulful eyes. To hell with taking things slow, she was only delaying what she'd always knew in her heart, that this is where she belonged, safe in Nathan's arms. Without hesitation, she took a step back from him. He looked at her curiously and was surprised when he saw her lifting up her shirt and tossing it aside.

"Are.. are you sure?" He asked, wanting to make sure this is what she also wanted.

She smiled warmly at him. "More than anything."

That was all it took as Nathan closed the gap between them.

To Be Continued


	9. Chapter 9

Stillness

Chapter 9

I was a little sad that I didn't get as many reviews last chapter. I hope you guys are still enjoying the story. But to those who reviewed, thank you so much. I'm so glad you enjoyed Naley's moment and them hashing most of their problems out. Like I said from the getgo, I wasn't planning on making this story too long, so with that said this is the last chapter. I really enjoyed writing it and I hope you enjoyed reading it. The good news is that I'll have more time to focus in on The Mourning After and Behind the Scenes. Once I get those two stories down, I'm going to start writing the first few chapters for "Keep Bleeding" sequel to Thicker than Blood.

I would also like to take this time to review the season premiere. Overall, I thought it was good, not the best nor the worst. There def. was a lack of cohesion among the characters. Everyone was there at Jamie's party but everyone felt so sectioned off, I don't know. I'll still watch of course for Naley. Leyton is missed that is for sure but not clearly stating where they are and why they aren't there (aside from the obvious reasons) hurt the episode. If they expect us to move on from them, they should tell us where the hell they are. Like in season 5, Lucas made it clearly known that Karen and Lily were traveling.

Brooke/Julian – I thought was overkill, I get it you're in love. They aren't Naley. If it was Naley doing their scenes, they so could've pulled it off but I thought that was a bit much. Although it was nice to see Brooke being vulnerable again, I miss her bubbly personality.

Quinn – Doesn't look like the older sister and I have mixed feelings about her. Is she Taylor with some emotion? I don't know. What was lacking with Quinn was that I felt like she was a new character instead of someone who has known Haley her whole life and who knew Jamie. She grew up in Tree Hill too, I didn't feel that. Haley helped carry her but so far she's not doing much for me.

Clayton – Not the best actor but he is charming and I think overtime he can grow into his role better. His first scene with Nathan was awkward at the end with Nathan talking about his outfit, but to his credit that was both his and Jame's fault lol. The next scene during the commercial bit was a lot better. I loved how James made fun of himself by calling his acting wooden and I thought the banter and humor in that scene was much better and I got the sense there that time has passed and that him and Nathan developed a strong friendship. More scenes like that and Clay will fit in just fine. I liked him better than Quinn. I could do without Quinn actually but I can see a reason for Clay.

Jamie – I could tell they wanted him to act a little older and I appreciate that. I still miss the 4 year old Jamie in season 5 but hey, they cant stay young forever. He had a lot of screen time but at least his role was to balance his parents, Jamie really shouldn't get his own storyline, this isn't the Disney channel.

Dan – Just plain weird, I don't even know what to say.

Mouth/Skills – two people I can do without being naked. As much as they annoy me at times, I want them there because they have been there since season 1. Although, I'm not sure how it's going to be since Skills has been arrested and pleaded guilty for identity theft.

Haley – her singing in the beg. was beautiful. I love that song already. I get the sense that she has been holding back on music because she wanted more family time? I'm not sure if that was what they wanted to get across but if it is, then I'm all for it. I think her and Nathan deserve another kid lol. I do wish they explain more about her role in the record label and how this plays in with Peyton. It made the whole thing confusing because that's Peyton's label not Haley's (as far as we know) so why would Peyton close her own studio down in her own town.

Nathan – It's funny to see Nathan a little more serious like Lucas and Clayton acting like the more fun spirited Nathan. I do wish Nathan would be a little bit more playful and mischievous like he used to be in season 1, esp with Haley. Of all the storylines, I think his had the best introduction. He's currently in re-negotiations and hold and behold some whore comes out of the woodwork. I doubt he really slept with her but for the fact that he can't def. 100 percent say that he didn't makes me cringe. If Mark really wants OTH to last season 7, they'll need to stick with the storyline of some bitch trying to get money from since she knows Nathan is in contract talks. I think that would be good drama right there. We don't need him to actually cheat on Haley, after everything they've been through and 7 seasons, it's like pulling a Kanye on us!

Enough rant, enjoy and please review!

. . . . . .

The sun poured through the window and onto Haley's face. She took a lazy breath and squinted her eyes. Instinctively, she pulled on the covers higher and reached over with her arm to the space next to her. When she felt nothing but the cold mattress beneath her, she instantly shot up.

Coming out from sleep, she felt dazed and confused. Looking around, it was clear that she wasn't at Lucas' in fact, as her memories came pouring back to her, she knew exactly where she was. Images of last night flashed before her. She could still feel Nathan's hot breath on her lips, the way he held her close as he grinded himself into her. She remembered the rain and the lightening and how they helped mask her cries of pleasure. What she remembered the most was feeling blissfully happy, satisfied, safe, warm. She reconnected with her soulmate again and nothing could bring her down, until now.

Panic instantly ensued. Where was Nathan? She thought. She glanced around and saw she was all alone. His side of the bed was cold and that sinking feeling crept into Haley. She got out of bed and instantly reached for the shirt she wore the night before. She quickly put it on and made her way downstairs. Maybe she was over reacting, he couldn't have left her. How could he, this was his house.

She was hoping to come downstairs and find him watching tv in the living room or making coffee in the kitchen but that wasn't the case. She was alone once more and Haley was a hair's away from breaking down again. Fear and doubt clouded her judgment and she raced into the bathroom to grab her clothes. She needed to change and get out of her as fast as she could.

Just as she was about to go into the bathroom, she heard the backdoor open and slam shut.

"Shit!" She heard someone cry out.

Haley went back to the kitchen and stood there shocked. There was Nathan on the floor picking up, what appears to be some pieces of fruit and a now broken carton of eggs.

Nathan felt someone's eyes on him and he looked up and found Haley standing before him.

"Hey, you're up." Nathan smiled warmly. His eyes trailed up her body, loving the fact that she was wearing nothing but _his_ shirt. He took his time glancing up her bare legs. When he looked at her face, his smile dropped.

"Hey.. what's wrong?" He got up and ignored the items he dropped and stepped closer to her.

Haley gave him a small smile and tried to shake off all her bad feelings. "Nothing."

"Doesn't look like nothing." He said concerned. She looked like she was near tears. "Don't tell me you were looking forward to eggs." He joked. It was just his luck he'd drop the bag with the eggs inside but it was killing him to see her so upset. He started to get worried, maybe she thought last night was a mistake. Oh God, he hoped that wasn't the case.

"I was being silly." She shook her head. "I .. I thought you left."

"I did leave, to get us some food for breakfast." He hugged her tightly and kissed the top of her head. "Did you think that I _left you_?"

"Like I said, I was being silly." She hugged him tighter and buried her head into his broad chest.

He pulled away slightly and cupped her chin in his hand. "Hey look at me, I'll never leave you."

"Promise?" She said softly, meeting his heavy gaze. She could stare into his blue eyes forever.

"Promised." He sealed his promise with a soft kiss.

"I'll never leave you too.. not again." She swore and he just smiled wider.

"I know we have some things to work out, but we'll make it work Hales, I promise you. If I can't get into ASU, maybe I can wait a semester or something either way, we'll figure out something." Nathan was ranking his brain all morning over this. As soon as he woke up, he thought the previous night was a dream, that was until he saw Haley lying next to him. He just watched her for what felt like hours. He eventually got up to get them some food but all the while he kept thinking about how school was soon approaching and they would once again be split up.

"No." Haley shook her head and took a step back. "You can't go to ASU .. and I don't want you too."

"Huh?" He asked bewildered. "Wait.. what're you saying?" Nathan started to panic.

"You can't go to ASU because I'm going to Duke."

"Haley please just … wait what?!" Nathan started to panic until he realized what she said.

"I said." Haley wrapped her arms around Nathan's neck. "I decided to go to Duke, I know it's your dream school and as long as I'm with you I don't care where I am."

"Wait, Hales, are you sure?" He tried to hold back his elation. He needed to make sure this is what she wanted to.

"The only reason I decided to go to ASU was to get away from you. Nathan, I could go to school anywhere but none of them would have you."

"You sure?"

Haley started to laugh and her heart melted at how concerned he was. "Yes!" She reaffirmed. "When I was on tour, we played this 80's cover called Missing You, it was great, the whole crowd was getting into it and then the lights went and we went to take our final bow and I saw all these hundreds of faces staring back at me and I lost it, I literally freaked."

Nathan looked on curiously.

"That's when I knew.. all the fame, all the celebrity, all the concerts were nothing if you weren't there so yes, I've never really considered going to Duke when I was younger but as long as we're together, that's all that counts, plus you have your basketball scholarship and I still have my full ride."

"You applied to Duke?"

Haley smiled and nodded. "I knew that's where you wanted to go, of course I applied there. They offered me a full ride and thanks to my annoying best friend and your meddling brother, I'm still enrolled."

"You're kidding?" Nathan couldn't believe it. It was as if everything was falling into place. "But.. but how?"

"_Okay.. I'll wait for you in my car." Nathan got up and walked towards his parked car. When he saw Nathan get in, Lucas went back inside his room and closed his door, making sure to lock it. _

_He turned to Haley who was sitting on his bed, her face expressionless and unreadable. _

"_You heard that?" Lucas asked carefully._

_She looked up, her face a mask of doubt and insecurity. "Yes." She said barely above a whisper. _

"_Are you okay Hales?" Lucas asked after a moment of silence._

"…_." Haley was still in deep thought over everything she just heard. _

_Lucas grabbed some clothes and went into the bathroom to change. He came by a few minutes later and found Haley still sitting on his bed. _

"_Look Hales, I'm going to go with Nathan to shoot some ball, is that okay?"_

"_Yeah.. go.. it's fine.. I'm .. I'm happy that you and Nathan are getting along again… brother's shouldn't be apart." She gave him a warm smile, indicating that it was okay for him to spend time with Nathan. At the end of the day, they would always be brothers._

"_So should husbands and wives." Lucas commented back. "Look Hales, you forwarded all your mail here and one letter in particular looked really important." Lucas reached over to his nightstand and pulled out a few letters. "Don't get mad at me .. but I forged your signature.. the scholarship offer still stands." Lucas handed her the envelope and walked out of the door. _

_Haley looked at him bewildered but he left before she could even form words. She looked down and saw letters from Duke. Apparently, they've sent her a few letters wondering if she was attending there. Lucas apparently sent in a letter last week stating her intention on going and the last letter gave her information as to when she could come in to register for classes since she missed the freshmen orientation._

. . . . .

KNOCK KNOCK

Nathan opened the back door and found Lucas standing before him.

"Hey." Both brothers greeted each other and Nathan stepped aside so Lucas could get in. Lucas took in Nathan's appearance, just in his basketball shorts.

"I was just checking up on you and Haley.. see if you rode out the storm okay." Then he looked on the ground and saw some fruit and broken eggs. "What happened?" He eyed Nathan curiously.

Just then Haley came walking in, wearing one of Nathan's green and black hoodie. "Hey Lucas!" Haley greeted him and gave him a quick hug and then took her place next to Nathan, who instantly wrapped his arm around her.

Lucas tried to hide the smile that was forming on his face. "What.. what's going on guys?"

Haley and Nathan looked at each other and smiled. "We're together, like together together." Nathan announced.

Lucas smiled from cheek to cheek. He knew those two could find their way back.

"And, we're going to Duke.. so we're only a few miles away Mr. UNC!" Haley teased.

"Damn, I thought I got rid of you." Lucas joked but he couldn't help but laugh and he and Haley instantly went for each other and hugged each other tight.

"I can't thank you enough for everything." She said into his ear.

"Yeah man." Nathan added. "I.. I just want to say thanks.. thank you for everything."

"Any time.. little brother." The two shared a typical man-hug, with each of them padding each other in the back.

"Ahh!! This is so great, we're all going to be together." Haley jumped for joy and went in and grabbed her two favorite guys in a big group hug.

. . . . .

"What's this rumor about you going to Arizona?"

Nathan closed the trunk of his car and found his dad standing in front of him.

"It's not a rumor."

"Are you.."

"Relax dad." Nathan cut him off and rolled his eyes. "I'm still going to Duke."

Dan paused for a moment. "You were going to go there for _her_." Dan asked rhetorically. He already knew the answer.

"By her, you mean my wife. Yes." Nathan held onto the straps of the duffle bag he just pulled out of his car. This was the last of Haley's things. "And she's already moved into the house and I swear to God dad if you say one bad thing." They only had a few more weeks left before school started and the last thing he needed was his dad to ruin the remainder of his summer.

"Is it what you want?" Dan asked curiously.

"What? Haley, of course I want her. I've always wanted her."

Just then Haley stepped out of the house and was walking in their direction.

"Dream school and dream girl, huh son. Guess you really out did your old man." Dan said poignantly.

"Haley." Dan gave a small smile as she saddled up next to Nathan.

"Mr. Scott." Haley said politely.

"I got to go.. make sure this one stay's focus on the court." He gave her a wink. "Son." Dan looked at his son one last time and walked away.

After he left, Haley turned to Nathan.

"What was that all about?"

"I don't know." Nathan shook his head. "It's my dad, what was weird was that he was actually a little, I don't civil.. well civil as Dan Scott can get."

"Yeah." Haley sighed.

"Hey, look you don't have to worry about him. And I gave my dad hell the last time I talked to him, and even if he starts trouble for us again, it doesn't matter. We're together, that's all that counts."

Haley smiled. "You got that right." And she leaned up and kissed hip on the lips.

Nathan put the bag down and wrapped her his arms around her. "You know, I would've gone through all of this alone if it wasn't for you. Thank you Haley, for everything."

"Right back at you." Haley rested her head on his chest.

"You know, I used to have this paper route when I was a kid, I'd wake up at the crack of dawn and I remember riding my bike and the sun coming up and the world was so calm and still, it made me believe that the world isn't as screwed up as I think it is. But when I'm with you, I get that same stillness, Hales."

"Stop." She swatted his chest and pulled back to wipe away a stray tear. "Stop being so charming." She teased.

"Hey, you haven't even seen my A-game." Nathan teased with a mischievous smirk.

Haley laughed, never feeling so carefree in her life. She wrapped her arms around him once more.

"Lord help me if that's true."

Fin.


End file.
